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usually dont ask for help..but this is a tough one


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ok i'll try shorten this...me and my ex (lets call her x) who i dated for approx 8 month went on and off and in the end she ended up with another guy...shes the type that dunno what she want and cant seem to live without a guy. i didnt feel like been alone at the time so i got wid another girl (call her y)


anyways i had to go on vacation for 2-3 month and me and Y broke up since we only dated for less than a month anyways, no point makin her wait 3 month .the funny thing is my flight got delayed for a month and me and Y sort of got back (not officially though) now im in another country still keepin in touch with both of them...ne ways i find out Y still not over her ex and i guess she was dealin wid her ex (even though she said she'll wait for me to come back) and he screwed her over..now X who's goin out wid yet another guy is msgin me everyday and callin me long distance sayin she still love me and she will drop her current bf if i want to get back with her...


so here i am couple thousand miles away going back soon...and im in a dilemma...should i try pick up where we left off with Y even though i know shes still not over her ex. or give X a last chance even though i gave her dozens of chances already and she messed up all of them...OR just find myself someone else and start new...


ne help would be greatly appreciated...just say w/es on ur mind

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Well I wouldn't give x another chance if you gave her 12 or so already I think that was to many. So I would say x was out.


Now about y is y still seeing her x if she is I would move on you know the saying if your x ( x is actually referring to y) is with some one move on.


So if she is seeing him I would cut my losses and move on.

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Wow this situation is a bit sticky. My advice for what you may make of it is that you should not dwell too much on it. It will only hurt your head. Whichever you choose to do, whether you decide to get with flaky Y or indecisive X, you need to determine for yourself what you want from them. If Y is not quite over her ex and you know it and she knows it, then what does that make you? A spare wheel? How about X? Perhaps she's now finally realizing what she wants and maybe what she really wants now is you. But then again she had her fair share of chances. If I were you, I would tell her to stop wasting my time. You don't want to deal with this so let her know that you don't. It's not being mean, or untactful, it's just being honest. However, you probably still have feelings for her don't you? That's why you still think about the possibility of getting back with her. And that's fine. I bet Y is a real cutie too. That's why you are considering getting together with her despite the fact that she still is nostalgic towards her ex. Determine what you want from these ladies. If it's sex then it's sex enough said. If it's a relationship, then you will have to confront them and ask them what they want from you. Tell them you don't want to play the spare wheel role or that you're tired of the flakiness. If you want X , say "Make up your mind I don't have time for this." if X says she still wants you back. Ask her if she's sure and that you will consider it. Don't give her straight answers that is saying that you are completely waiting for her to make the move even though you might need to do this to accomplish what you aim for, control the situation and let her know that you are in control of yourself. She will likely respect you more for it. If you want Y then tell her that if she wants to be with you that she is going to have to forget about her ex. Since you are devoting yourself to her (hopefully this is the case. Don't play her) she will need to do the same for you. Otherwise, tell her to forget it. There's plenty of women out there, two is just two. Get the right mindset man. And don't BS anything. Give it to them straight and direct. Beating around the bush will get you no where. Hope this helps.

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