a boyfriend.

[EmptySoul]

Everyone, be amazed: I am writing about a boy.

 

I have a boyfriend now. He's a senior and he's romantic. He goes to church and will be going to the marines in may, I think. He was even going to get married, but it didn't work out.

 

This is insane What the hell am I doing?? I'm antisocial, anti-relationship, I trust no one and I'm more likely to kill than I am to express how I really feel. I feel so bad for him already...

 

He likes to talk on the phone every day, he's always trying to make plans to see me. If he has a girlfriend, she's a big part of his life. I don't think I can do this. AND I've just added another person to hurt if I finally punk out of this pain people call life.

 

I think I'm really scared. (wow, a moment of honesty. *faints*) I'm scared of not being good enough. Of breaking under the pressure of trying to be a normal, caring girlfriend. Of trying to feel to make this work. I'm scared of hurting him.

 

I could break this off now, before it gets too far. Before we have sex, before he really starts to care. Before there's a one month anniversary and the gifts he's already promising.

 

Before I'm really trapped....

 

but i know i won't.

 

 

Empty

[confusedgirl123]

Honey... trust me... let yourself go, let yourself be free to feel, to love, to get close to someone, especially if you like him. It sounds like he is a winner. I can tell you from experience, being a closed book is a lonely place to be. Feeling, giving, sharing - loving, hating, emotion, devotion, bitterness, lies... it's all worth it. Life is too short. If you hurt him, so be it... I think what you are really afraid of is allowing him to be close enough to hurt you.

[under_the_pressure]

Congrats. I'm glad you have somebody. Maybe this will help you 'get better.'

 

*sigh*

 

 

under*

[Shinobie]

Ya its great that u have a boyfriend!Feel free to express ur love and feelings for him if u have any u want to express!Keep on doing what ur doing dont feel like ur lucky to have a boyfriend.Because if u have one right now that truly means u deserve a boyfriend and i hope u take ahold of this chance to love and to care.Just let your feelings go for him if u feel good about it dont feel liek it will end up bad just because u feel like ur no good for him.U can be good for him if u believe in yourself and hav e a good personality and good attitude.I know he will like u if bring in the big load of great feelings.Let it all go and dont feel weird just because u think u were too inadequate to get a bf just think he thinks that u r a great girl and that is all that counts.I dont think u should break it off i think u should go farther in and good luck!