straight guy in a long term relationship who has slept with a t-girl

[jabbathehut]

Hi

 

I am a straight guy who has been with my girlfriend for 5 years now. I recently made the biggest mistake of my life and let a t-girl perform anal sex on me. I really don't know why I did it, I know 100% that I am straight, I do not like men, I am not attracted to t-girls in the slightest. I don't know what to think of this and am looking for some opinions from other people. To make things worse, my girlfriend has now found out about this. I really don't want to lose her, not because i'm confused about who I am or in denial, but because I love her with all my heart and know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

 

I know some of you will say I couldn't love her if I could go through with it but the truth is, I really didn't know what I was doing, I wasn't myself! It was like someone or something else took over. I feel so disgusted with what I have done and am now looking to go to counciling/therapy over this but I just need some other peoples opinions on the matter. I don't have any of those urges and, not to offend anyone, find the whole thing sick and disgusting. I don't look at this type of porn and definatly do not find men or t-girls a turn on.

 

If anyone has any opinion on the matter, please let me know.

[FathomFear]

It's possible that you had a spur of the moment desire to pursue something "forbidden" or "risque". However, it's also possible that you haven't come to terms with a part of yourself yet. It's hard to say at this point, as you seem to be having a kneejerk negative reaction which is preventing you from processing what happened.

 

In any case, I'd 1) remind yourself that cheating is cheating--it doesn't matter if you slept with a woman, a guy, or a transgendered woman--it's still cheating, which is going to seriously hurt your girlfriend and your relationship, and 2) after you've ironed that out, try to do some healthy self-exploration to understand what you did and why you did it.

[toby17]

First up, you need to stop kidding yourself. Most straight men wouldn't let another man perform anal sex on, most people wouldn't have sex with a tranny and most people don't cheat. Saying you didn't know what you were doing is ridiculous. Saying you "find the whole thing sick and disgusting" is ridiculous and just internalized homophobia.

 

I could care less about what turns you on, and who you want to sleep with - and neither would most people on this board. That's your deal.

 

The thing that bothers me is you cheated on your gf. It bothers me that she hasn't left you already for cheating on her - sexuality issues just make it worse.

 

Instead of having a knee-jerk panic attack about how to keep your gf and continue fooling yourself, you need to figure out what it is you really want because you're going to create a lot of problems (and hurt people like your gf) denying who you are and what you like and then engaging in risky behaviour from time to time under the guise of "I don't know why I did it".

 

You do know why you did it - you wanted to, you thought you'd enjoy it and you probably did.