losing my first--what happens?

[goddess23]

hey everyone. i know that there are tons of cries for help on these issues but i really am in pain and im really in need of some reasonable, unbias advice. my first bf and i recently broke up about 3 weeks ago. he is 15 and im 16, it was an amazing relationship that lasted 9 months. we were very much in love, but i always told my friends that i do worry that because of his age (i mean even if he was older then me i would feel this way, im very mature) that he might just one day change his mind. during the first couple of weeks of summer things were going better then ever, we just started getting somewhat intimate and the relationship was going perfectly. then he went on vacation for over a month he came back and his feelings just changed. he said he was confused and just knew that he didnt like me as much as he did or that i love him more then he does me, and that he doesnt want a relationship right now. it was very hurtful, i never thought that this would've happened NOW. and the thing is, i practically forced the breakup out of him b/c i sensed something was wrong so i kept asking him about how he felt and such and he just kept saying that he still loves me and whatever. but i insisted that he knows how he feels and he finally started to say what he was feeling. honestly if i didnt we might be still going out. and its not that i want that, that he just stay in it to "figure" out how he feels about me. its just its so hard to think that one month would change so much. our breakup was holding hands, hugging and we talk online like every night for hours. honestly it wasnt VERY clear on whether its a break or breakup...i mean he kept changing his mind!

 

so i need to ask, should i keep hope about this relationship? how should i act around him? what do you think caused this sudden change in his mind? i just need some advice, answers, clarity...i have my own ideas of what it is, but i would like to see some other opinions. thank you very much!

[amp1345]

do you guys still talk online? Guys can be so confusing. I think you definitely need to give some room for him and yourself to think about it. It sounds like you still have a lot of feelings for him? Have you talked to him about what happened while he was on vacation? It's hard to say anything without knowing more, but I definetely wouldn't force anything. I'll wait for a response and maybe have some better advice!

Ash

[Vert]

I'm sure you'll hear this ad infinitum ad nauseum, but you are still very young. You will date other guys in college, learn what you want from life and in a future husband, and have a good time overall. I'm not saying go nuts and date every guy in sight, but rather just know that while you are upset at losing your bf it is definitely not the end but just the beginning. You have much to look forward to.

[Vert]

do you guys still talk online? Guys can be so confusing.

Ash

 

LOL Ash. Guys are confusing? My ex-gf for the last year we dated kept telling me how she couldn't see me with anyone else, couldn't see herself with anyone else, wanted to be with me forever, and then when I propose she said "I don't see a future with you." I know this is off topic, but I think girls hide their emotions more than guys do. Guys are usually obvious about what they want, and girls tend to hide it. If you don't believe me, ask Muneca (sorry to drag you into this Muneca, but I need the backup here She will echo that.

[goddess23]

lol BOTH SEXES ARE CONFUSING. i know im young, its just im one of those really mature intese people, and im not just bsing. my first love was from my childhood, someone i knew for 10 years, someone i didnt even go out with. and when he moved it was so hard, it took me a year to get over him. honestly im not a suicidal idiot, i know that theres so much more to my life then him. its just in this situation, OFCOURSE i still love him. 3 weeks is not going to change that, his mind changing doesnt change that. he knows that i still love him, but i really dont want to tell him, i feel as if its a waste of time. i just need to know if i should still keep hope...thanx everyone already for answering, its already getting me thinking, i need more!!

[Vert]

Goddess, I understand that pain knows no age. Whether you're 16 or 26 (although at 26 you're "clock" is ticking and you might seem a bit more anxious about losing a relationship) breaking up hurts just the same. I wasn't trying to weaken your position, but rather just encourage you that you are still young and have many years ahead of you. College will bring many more guys and more chances to find the right one for you.

[goddess23]

hey vert. i didnt take it as you trying to weaken my position lol. i just wanted to make it clear that its not like im depressed to the point of walking around like a wounded puppy or something lol. that i really just need clarity on the situation. thanx for you replies, i really didnt take it in that way, and im sure theres more pressure as you get older to find the one. i waited so long to find someone i reallly liked...and now it just feels as if no one my age thinks like me. understands love...understands that a month of not making out is not suppose to change how you feel. his vacation...we talked about it, i know its not that he found another girl, honestly i do know that at this point he doesnt want a relationship. its just im wondering if i should keep hope.

[xxbatmanxx]

haha the same thing happen to me, went away on vacation then broke up with me....guys are weird

[sprkal]

People change, especially during highschool years. Don't hold out for this guy because #1, most likely he doesnt really want you back - its probably just the idea of having a gf rather than NOT having one, and #2, guys arent as mature as girls are around your age, so go out there an find a guy on your level!

[goddess23]

hey everyone thanx for the replies so far. but now im again having some issues lol. yesterday we were talking and basically he said hes still attracted to me, and that the reason hes not sure if he wants to go back is because hes scared that if we go out again and his feelings change he doesnt want to go through the whole breakup process again. i told him he needs to think about how he feels truly. basically he still likes me, but i think he doesnt want it to get as serious as it was. honestly for two people who NEVER dealt before it was very intense, he met my parents all the time, he was becoming truly wayyyy to close. so...any comments or advice are needed. should i go for it again and just take it more lightly, or should i forget it?