I suck at talking to women...

[sevenohnine709]

Ok i am a 21 year old male. In the past 5 years i have been in 4 different year long relationships, before that i was a pretty big "nerd" played video games 10 hours a day so i did not socialize very much at all.

Not i have been single for about 5-6 months and i am finding it very very difficult to talk to girls unless they are at a party with my friends where i feel comfortable and its casual.

 

I want to be able to go up to a girl at a bar, on the bus, anywhere who i am attracted to and just be able to talk. I do not even care if anything ever does come out of it... i know one day something may but if i do not get the ability to talk to girls nothing ever will..

 

When i get very drunk i can go up to a girl and say hi, most of the times after that introduction i'll choke. I am extremely bad with coming up with interesting topics to talk to them or making them laugh therefore most likely it becomes ackward... so i am hesitant to saying anything to girls unless i have a "IN" like a friend to introduce me, or a very specific reason to talk to them like they sit next to me in a class etc..

 

How are some ways i could get over this fear? Become a better conversation starter, have more confidence and pull off a good friendly conversation with a girl i did not know a few minutes before..

[OracleofDoom]

I just make a few random comments as developing communication skills is an art

-social strength is like a muscle the more you use it the easier it becomes

-"talking" while obviously important is the least important of all communication

-trusting yourself and keeping it light and simple>coming up with interesting topics, pressure offense etc...

-if you are still in college,an interpersonal communications course will give you an in depth understanding of what is going on

[sevenohnine709]

I am in university still. I never thought about the possible communications course. I will have to check that out .

[sevenohnine709]

Also i started thinking maybe if i got involved in more activities around my university that it may help me learn some more communication skills / conversational starters. I find if i have a "Reason" to talk to someone i am fine with it. Such as a class mate, or a friend at a party. It is the random girl sitting on the bus, or the girl sitting at the bar with her friends who i find i have the most trouble trying to start up a conversation with.. because situationally i have no reason to talk to them other than the fact i wish to get to know them more.. to me this makes it ackward..

[OracleofDoom]

If you join some kind of group in college thats the easiest way to meet females and will definitley improve your communication confidence all around.