Bulimia

[if only]

I have been suffering with this since I cant remember probably about 10 years. I know im stupid, hurting myself etc and its not like I haven't tried to stop, I just can't. I don't do it every day just when I binge, sometimes I can go a week without doing it but it still comes back.

 

I told my ex when we were together and it helped, he encouraged me to see the doctor and I have admitted to him I have a problem but he didn't really understand and just said why do you do it? and tried to prescribe me antidepressants but I truthfully don't think it is down to depression in my case now it is more of a habit. I know im not over weight or under weight but when I was younger I was slightly bigger and it is stuck in my head because of a few childish remarks that I can never be slim.

 

Well the doctor said he would write to a specialist and I agreed at this time I had the support of my now ex BF. Well I never heard anything from him. I phoned and spoke to him a month later and he said someone would be in touch but they never did. In the end I went back a year later and he asked how I was doing and I just didn't want to talk about it anymore and said yes I was fine I had stopped.

 

Well at the beginning of this year I decided enough was enough and I did stop for 3 months I used a few techniques that were on the internet and with the support of my ex I was fine I was soooo happy. Then boom my ex dumps me out of the blue and I have ended up back to square one and this time it is uncontrollable I binge every day and I don't know why sometimes I am really happy when I do it and I think it is just boredom.

 

I don't want to go back to the doctors and I don't feel I trust anyone else enough to understand what I am doing. I wont tell my family as I know they would blame them selves and I don't want that.

 

But what can I do? Has anyone else on this site suffer from this & who can help me get through it without medical help?

[guy40az]

The first thing I would tell you that you're not stupid, what you have is a disorder there is an organization called BASH (Bulimia Anorexia self help) there number in Philadelphia is (215) 221-1864. I think the BASH organization could help you out but you may have to see a therapist that deals with eating disorders to get you back on track.

 

Here is a link to self help in Kansas city.

 

ksu.edu/counseling/csweb/topics/eating/bulimia.html

[if only]

Thanks this is great but I live in the UK

[guy40az]

Here are a couple of links in the UK that I hope you find helpful.

 

rcpsych.ac.uk/contact.htm

 

anorexiabulimiacare.co.uk/

[Scandypop]

Hello there, have to say that I do feel for you. I suffered from eating disorders for approx 6 years through my teens. I am now 26 and have a good healthy relationship to food.

 

I have to say that I am appalled by your doctor, the way he's treated you is very bad. It takes so much to admit to having this problem and he should have taken you seriously.

 

You seem to have a good rational way of thinking in the sense that you know you aren't overweight, but it's amazing like you said how other people's comments from the past can stick with you for life. I don't know, but from my own experience I know that the times I had relapses (I actually got quite bad myself for a few months earlier this year for the first time in a long long time when I split up with my boyfriend) were the times when other things in my life went wrong, especially when for example my relationships ended. I know myself that the reason I would then binge again, or sometimes not eat for days, was because I was in control of that situation. The control side is such a huge part of it, other things can happen around us that we have no control over, like being dumped, but how much/what/when we eat is something nobody but us can control. It gives a certain satisfaction in a way. To realise that maybe that is why you do it is sometimes enough to make it easier to stop.

 

I was anorexic for a few years and it then developed into bulimia. I was so utterly unhappy with myself and had a very unrealistic view of what I looked like. I see photos now and realise I was so underweight, but at the time I didn't realise. The thing that saved me was when my now ex-boyfriend introduced me properly to execise. I've actually always loved food (although sometimes hated it at the same time) and I realised that with exercise I could eat whatever I wanted and not put on weight, and have the added bonus of my body still improving because it was toning up and not looking like a skeleton any more.

 

It is very hard, and I do also think that you are right about the habit aspect, when we are used to doing something, especially if it's been for 10 years, it is very difficult to get out of that habit. Maybe you need to find other things you can do, like exercise or anything else, so that when you feel the need to binge you have a contingency plan. Obviously it is important that you don't overdo it completely with the exercise if that is what you should chose to do, as that can be equally bad for you. Also it's important to know that you probably will be prone to this maybe even for the rest of your life, but hopefully with time you can get better and better with it. It won't happen overnight.

 

Finally, I think you should seriously consider changing your doctor. If you do see him again and he offers anti-depressants say no, that is not going to get to the root of the problem. If anything maybe you should ask to be referred to a psychologist or somebody similar. You don't have to be completely mad to have therapy! I was in therapy for 3 years and it completely changed and saved me and made me into the level headed (if I can say so myself!) person I am today.

 

Good luck with everything, feel free to ask any questions you might have. You can get through this, believe me, it just takes time. Take care.

[Bingo72]

I have been the same way for about 12 years. I'm like an on and off smoker. I can quit it for a few months at at time and then suddenly find myself doing it every night for a couple of months.

 

I am not overweight but could be thinner. I know that doing this doesn't help me because my weight stays the same but there is something about it that makes me feel in control of my body or something.

 

It's like if someone makes me mad or I think my boyfriend looked at a girl I thought has a better body than me, the end of the day I can be found binging then throwing it up. I really, really don't know what it is but something about it makes me feel better about myself. Go figure.

 

I am in your position in needing to probaly get help but there is no way in hell I could tell my family. They'd watch me like a hawk and I can't put them in that position where they feel they have to "follow behind me" everytime I eat something.

 

It's just not serious like the people you hear about on TV. Those people seem to do it everyday, throughout the day but my habit just isn't the same so I don't know what to do either. I ask myself if it really is a problem that I have or if what I do really doesn't hurt me. Hmmm.