Advice on a possible back together situation please

[g1llybabes]

Ok so I've just had this text.

 

Hey you how did it go? Thought you would of txt me by now as you were so excited yesterday? xxx I'm off to get my curry but its fookin freezing man LOL

 

How do I respond? Is he annoyed I didn't text? Oh well. He did say talk

Tonight didn't he. I don't have to tell him everything straight away?

Do I be flirty and say I was waiting to tell you later or is that too much pressure on talking to me?

 

 

Hmm I'm not sure how to reply???

[g1llybabes]

Well i responded with I didnt want to disturb you as I know you have your course next week.

 

But then he had replied to my friends email and she sent me a copy so Im not so positive now: -His reply as follows: -

 

Im very proud of all that she has and will achieve- its a catch 22 If I didnt come into her life when I did chances are she wouldnt be where she is now.... but on the other hand in doing so I had to go through all this with her. Regardless Im always here for her and I so still really enjoy her company and the long chats we have- if she needs me for anything she knows I am here to help

 

My friend then replied to him and said- Iknow she hurt you but I think she has been punished enough. Do not let the hard work you put in slip away. Take the risk for the positive result. You have all the basis for the best relationships you love her company and talking for hours etc etc generally fighting my corner.

I asked her to please not email him again. I know she has my best interests at heart but it really is nothing to do with her.

 

We talked on Friday night- he mentioned about the text and I said- well last night you said talk tomorrow so thats good enough for me. I know now I dont have to put everything in a text.

He replied with thats good cause i really like talking to you.

I then said if I hadnt of text last week then I may not of lost you- he said I havent gone anywhere. We continued to talk about all kinds of things for another hour or so and then when we ended he said sweet dreams

 

So now I am not so optimistic. He knew I was singing a gig yesterday but I did not hear from him at all and I still havent. I have not text though. He is probably preparing for his course and maybe thinking about us who knows.

 

My feelings today are very much that of confusion and having a bad day is making me think of all the mistakes I made but also its my nieces life celebration tomorrow so I am thinking about too.

 

Im trying my best to divert my attention but my thoughts keep coming back

[jolbell69]

g1lly - you are doing well, so keep going!! Let him initiate as much as possible. His texts don't always warrant an answer, so don't always send one. Remember - you are trying to show him you can change. Don't bring up the past in your phone conversations, unless he does. Don't ask him any questions about the BU, listen to what he is saying and mirror it - thay way, you can't put your foot in it. While he is on the course - leave him be.

 

I wish you love and peace for tomorrow!! It will be a very difficult day and I offer my thoughts and sympathy to you and your family. Concentrate on yourself right now - you need time to grieve.xxx

[jolbell69]

P.S We have a saying here in Greece: 'siga, siga', which means slowly, slowly. Take your time with everything and think carefully before doing or saying anything. Also, I believe it's not good for your friend to be involved and reporting what he is saying to you. Ask her very politely to stay out of it.

[g1llybabes]

Do you see the email to my friend or what he said to me as a set back. He did say he wanted to talk to me and that he was still here

 

I dont know- i just cant settle today. I suppose its tomorrow looming over my head.

[jolbell69]

I don't see it necessarliy as a 'set back', but I do think you are rushing ahead of yourself a little. I think he needs time and space to get himself together - it's all still very raw. try not to overanalyse situations and words too much - concentrate on getting through tomorrow, then take it a day at a time.

[g1llybabes]

You are right patience and calm, I love him so respect all that he needs.

 

I just watched the worst film to watch btw. I thought it would be a comedy to cheer me up but it was all about romances and second chances- Stay clear if you dont need a good cry lol its New Years Eve.

 

He has just text me

" just on the train to london, should be in the hotel for 10 xxx what have you been up to anything exciting? xxx"

 

I know I look into things too closely, like the use of kisses in his messages, and the lack of last week and now use of again. I know its breadcrumbs but hey it does give me hope. Also the question that requires a reply. Not just a hope youve had a good weekend.

 

In a way thinking of this is somehow taking my mind off tomorrow, but not in the right way. I hope to hear from my interview tomorrow though.

 

At least though I am showing him that I am changing, even when things were good I would feel the need to talk about 'us' at least once a week.Even if it was good us. And text multiple times a day. But I havent unless he has mentioned it.Or text me. Do you know the more I think about it, I needed to talk like that as a way to get reassurance that he loved me and wanted to be with me instead of just believing him.

Bringing up all things from any issue we had, we had dealt with it at the time, but my thinking was that he still must feel that way as he hasnt told me he feels different instead of just moving on.

 

There is a comedienne I cant think of her name but she does a joke about loving pets too much as a child and squeezing them too tight then being the same with her relationships. Thats me, squeezing too tight to keep it close and smothering it and finding problems to work out that really didnt matter.

No wonder he got to the end of his tether, Its taken me loosing him to believe him.

 

Reading so many posts the push pull theory is quite correct the more you try and pull you are actually pushing.

 

But I have to show him the good in me and that I can and have learnt. Lets just hope I have not hurt him that much that I dont get the chance. I think thats why it hurts so much too as I know I hurt him and I never ever wanted to do that.