rebound dating -- an ethical inquiry

[raccoon]

Here's a question: Is there something unethical about going on dates for the purpose of helping you get over an ex?

 

I got dumped almost two months ago and took it a bit harder than I thought I would. I've been on two dates since with perfectly datable nice guys and found that this has been benificial for me. Thinking about new prospects helps you to not think about old ones.

 

Of course I'd love to find love again, and I like dating and meeting new people, but is it somehow unethical in going on dates when you're emotionally unavailable?

 

Just interested in what people think.

 

Cheers.

[wanderer]

it's alright as long as you don't lead the rebound guys on too much. if they're aware that this is why you're dating them, then it's cool in my opinion. if not, then i feel bad for those guys.

[light bulb]

You definitely don't want to lead someone on and break their heart...date for fun, that's a rebound. Just don't let them get, or think you are attached.

[Scout]

Well, go into any first date with your mind open. Maybe the same with a second date. But if you are absolutely sure after spending a little time with someone that you will be emotionally unavailable in a relationship with them, then you shouldn't continue to date them unless they are ok with that fact (which means you have to tell them that somehow, eeks).

 

It's especially uncool to date someone you aren't really interested in if they are paying for the dates! (I know the original poster isn't doing that, this is more directed at the females out there).

[lunatic]

If your not ready to open up to that person then you should be honest with them. If you would be interested in the future then I would tell them that your not ready to get emotionally involved right now. Just make sure you tell them that soon you might be so lets be friends for now. You never know what may come of it. If your not interested at all in the person then you just don't include the future. Just tell them you only see them as a friend.

 

Honesty is the key...

 

Hubman 8)

[BigAl]

I don't feel there is anything wrong with dating as long as you go into it with open eyes and complete honesty to the person you are going out with. I don't see any need to mope around, for either the person who ended the relationship or the person who didn't want it to end.

[raccoon]

Great advice everyone! That's exactly how I was feeling about it.

 

And to follow up... no one has been led on by me. My dates since my breakup have all been first dates (no reason for anyone to get attached). And the "mini-relationships" (first dates and phone calls) have just sort of fizzled and died. I've gone into each with an open mind, gave each guy a chance, and found that I felt a little bit better about myself after these dates... like I was disirable again. So I guess it's all good. Meeting with a nice fellow for drinks tomorrow... wish me luck!

 

Thank you everyone who's responded.

 

D