Went for Coffee - Now what? Help

[MrMikeWikowski]

Well, the saga continues....

 

I have been doing NC with my ex for nearly six months. I ran into her a little over a month ago. However, two weeks ago she asked me to go for coffee with her. I didn't know if it was a good idea, but I still love her, and thought maybe it could be the start of something good. She asked me after all.

 

Sooo:

 

I had coffee with her yesderday.

 

It was good at first. She was dressed up and looked really good. I tried to be reserved and cool. I thought I was doing pretty good till she asked if I was seeing anyone. I can't lie at all, and said no. Things got awarkward for a bit. She said well you should. I just was quiet and continued with light conversation. I wanted to stay away from anything heavy. After some more conversation she told me she was living with someone - they live 4 blocks from me

 

Anyway, I guess I wasn't prepared to hear that. It hurt. I kept on going though. I never said I missed her, or that I loved her, or that I wanted to get back to together.

 

She asked if she could see me again and try to be friends. I said I couldn't be friends with her. She said that is fair.

 

The entire time she kept saying I just wanted to see how you are doing? I don't know if she was trying to convince herself of this, or me?

 

Then we left. I gave her a very quick hug and walked away.

 

I felt like I had been hit with a brick. I thought that I would be stronger, but it hurt really bad. It feels like she has moved on, and completely replaced me witht this new guy.

 

I had a rough. I feel like I am just running myself into hard wall. She gives me mixed messages, and I have hope. A bad combinations I guess.

 

I don't know what to do now.

 

Do you think I messed up any chances that I probably don't have???

 

And since I am really hurting, I need some advice on what to do. I have been strong again and not emailed her, or anthing.

 

I talked to my mom. She told me I need to get some closure. That there are too many unknows for me to move on. She suggested I ask my ex to do a few counselling sessions. thoughts?

 

Please, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I have taken a huge step back. Any ideas of what I should do would be more than welcome.

 

Thanks so much in advance.

 

Mike

[CarterJonas]

Hi MrMike,

 

You are at roughly the same time since the breakup as I am, so here's my two cents!

 

Hearing that your ex. was living with someone else would be a shock to anyone whom is not completely over them. But I'm sure that you would agree with me in saying that the hurt and pain 6 months from the breakup is much less than it was immediately following the breakup; an indication thereforeeee that we are moving on!

 

Without sounding too harsh I agree with you in the sense that you are probably now running yourself into a wall. I'm sure your ex. still cares for you, but whether it is in the sense that you want her to care for you, I'm not so sure! If I was in your situation I would now take this as closure, continue NC and try and move on with your life.

 

I haven't seen my ex. since the day we broke up and I can now say that I am not in love with her, although not completely over her yet. She was my first serious love; suppose that is the most difficult to get over???? Don't know, but at the moment I don't fancy another breakup...lol