About to call it quits...

[Fenton87]

Hello everyone... I've been through a rough year for 2011 relationship wise.. We've been happily together 5 years but after all the recent events I'm ready to call it quits. I just don't know how because of the current situation and I'm simply having a hard time of letting go. My girlfriend has been conflicted about some guy at her work for some time now and I just can't take it anymore... I don't know what to say to her anymore. I just hope she realizes everything she has ruined. Need help please...

[sweety39]

Thats what I was thinking to myself .My 2011 was pretty bad relationship wise .I broke it off at the end of 2011 (Dec)

I still believe that i did the right thing .He strung me along for the whole 2011

I just started New year all fresh .NC since 4 weeks .I got a happy newyear sms but i ignored it .He cant have his cake and eat it too

Go by ur gut feeling you will not be wrong .

[EgoJoe]

Vanish on her and start healing. The only conflict she is facing is how to have her cake and it eat too.

[Fenton87]

I know I have to do this in person and in a non confrontational manner but I don't know what to say to her is my problem...

[Fenton87]

Well I'm meeting her tomorrow officially to end our relationship. She ended up sending me a text with mixed messages earlier and I replied back telling her to stop. She called upset asking what was wrong. I told her how I felt about everything. She tried to argue with me but I didn't give in or argue back. She then asked me questions like "can we still talk?" (I didn't answer this question) she also said certain things to try to sway me like "lets take it day by day. Give it time." but I didn't cave and told her I couldn't be with her while she was confused and conflicted. She asked me to see her tomorrow and I agreed. I rather do this face to face instead of over the phone because our relationship has lasted 5 years. That is why I agreed to see her.

 

After tomorrow I will go NC. I will delete her # and facebook too. What do you guys think about me seeing her in person?

[pippy longstocking]

this is something you feel is right to do and so its right .

 

I suppose you have to expect drama and tears because of the nature of the meeting .... and so I presume your prepared in that sense and are doing what you need to do.

[Miss Kitty]

She wants time so you'll just forget about it. She's using you sadly. You are making the right choice. I hope things go well for you. I'm sorry things aren't working out. Trust me, I understand. I think I may be breaking up with my fiance.

[macadamia]

What's the situation? Have you been together 5 years without offering her a serious commitment like moving in together or getting engaged? Maybe this other guy is promising her these kinds of things and she's struggling with her love for you and her desire to settle down. Or if this isn't the case, if you have given her everything she wants and she's still conflicted then I'd say flick her, she's not worth it.

[Fenton87]

Well it's official and I went through with it last weekend but it has been very hard for me to focus on my self considering the fact she still wants my attention. I tried cutting her out completely but a large part of me still cares for her and even after all the pain she has caused me. I shut her out for several days last week but after much bombardment of text messages and phone calls I caved because I became concerned of her mental state. So we have been talking but its just back and forth between love and hate. A lot of rehashing and trying to understand one another. I don't know what we are anymore. I just know its just very dysfunctional. One moment we are having a nice productive conversation and the next she can be cold as ice. I can't seem to bring my self to go NC. She tells me give it time things will get better and we can possibly get back together. It sucks because I know if I shut her out I won't stop hearing about it.

 

She wants time so you'll just forget about it. She's using you sadly. You are making the right choice. I hope things go well for you. I'm sorry things aren't working out. Trust me, I understand. I think I may be breaking up with my fiance.

Yeah its hard to accept considering how much this person means to me and how much of an impact she has had in my life. I'm sorry you and you're fiance aren't working out.

 

What's the situation? Have you been together 5 years without offering her a serious commitment like moving in together or getting engaged? Maybe this other guy is promising her these kinds of things and she's struggling with her love for you and her desire to settle down. Or if this isn't the case, if you have given her everything she wants and she's still conflicted then I'd say flick her, she's not worth it.

This is the situation. Basically from what she has told me is that she has realized that there is more opportunity out there besides me. We have dated since high school and she never imagined her future with anyone except me. So after meeting this guy and seeing the interest between them caused her to question our relationship. She began to fear her future conflicting with my own. She said she is afraid since I am not a very driven or motivated person. That I wouldn't finish college and that she would have to support me in the future and she doesn't want that. Fortunately for her she has a lot of financial support from her parents to pay for all her schooling and all of her living expenses. She is a year away from already finishing her BA and I've barely even scratched the surface of my major. I on the other hand have supported my self since I got out of high school. She knows my family has never really supported me and will never have the means to pay for my education like hers. I've been going to community college for the last 4 years for a Radiology major paying for all my classes while working part time 30 to 36 hours on a night shift to support my self. I've been working like this since 2007. We have also talked in the past about moving in together and getting engaged but we always came to the conclusion that we would wait until we finished college. So much for that. I honestly don't see what she saw in this guy because as far as I can tell this guy just works for a stupid gym in the child care department and doesn't even have a stupid GED.