Initiate NC without telling ex and what if he calls?

[Sola]

Hi,

First, thanks to everyone on this forum. I have been reading these posts for a few weeks now and they have been providing me with some comfort. I spent many years on my own pursuing a career and not meeting men that I really liked or respected. Suddenly I met a man and we dated for two months, not long at all compared to the stories I have read on this board. But I fell for him. I may have fallen in love during that short time. Unexpectedly he broke it off with me, saying he wanted to be friends b/c he needs time to himself. I've never been broken up with before. I attempted to be friends with him, and to suddenly not be desired sexually by him HURT, to suddenly not have him care whether I got home safely at night HURT, to not have his silly joking and our long conversations HURT, etc. And now, I was supposed to be a casual friend, only subject to the occasional textmail and asbolutely no phone calls initiated by him.

Last week I realized, after reading here and listening to friends, that I should have done No Contact from the moment he broke it off. I realized that each textmail is prolonging my anguish and leading me to believe he will come back. Last week, I decided to stop everything, but I did not tell him. I deleted absolutely any and all contact info. Problem was, he continued to send me a textmail each morning. I figured that if I attempted to say goodbye to him, it would be contact and I would either chicken out or let him talk me out of it. I have not heard from him in two days, so perhaps he took the hint.

My first question is, has anyone here initiated No Contact after attempting friendhsip and without telling your ex? How did that go?

And second, what if he calls? Or contacts me again? Do I ignore the attempts, or do I take that time to say goodbye?

And one other questions-- a friend has convinced me to shred all our photographs, even though they are his. Is that too drastic? Or will that really finalize things for me and symbolize the fact that I have to mvoe on without him in my life?

Thanks for any and all insight. Again, I feel foolish b/c of the short time of our being together, I don't know why I fell so hard so fast, and just need to accept that I am a distant memory for him and need for him to become just a distant memory for me as well.

[drydupfob]

I personally didn't tell my ex that i was doing no contact after being her "best friend" for 3 month..... i just woke up one day and said to myself, this girl is really hurting me..... so im not going to talk to her anymore......

 

Ya it was hard at the beginging, but you just have to tough it through..... It was tempting to pick up her calls, but it only prolongs your pain......

 

good luck

[Beachboy]

Wow....your 27....and you finnally had to deal with the hardest part of growing up. Props. Just imagine what your going through...all the pain and anguish....the lack of motivation to wake up......like your stuck in the middle of the ocean and the wind has left your sails.... and imagine going through that ant 13 or 15 or 19.....I never understood why Dr. laura said people under 18 shouldn't date.....but if your having trouble with a stable income and a house and bank account, imagine what its like for a kid.... not to rag on your situation, i'm just making an observation. I sincerely hope it all works out for you, and if theres any advice that rang true for me, its just to be your self. That way, you'll never regret. I also have found an amazing outlet in this message board, and would encourage anyone who has a say to say it. Half the battle is getting this bowlling ball that is bouncing around in your head out. For the original poster, i would suggest also starting a journel. Because sometimes friends get sick of hearing about stuff, and with a journel, you can at least get stuff out. let me know if this helps, after all, i'm still just a dumb kid...