(he was just my date) NC for 1 year... I want to be friends with him again

[jeanettelee]

I'm not even sure if this is the right page to post on...

Since he wasn't even my boyfriend... he was just my date.

But I still care for him and I like him as a friend.

(im in fact kinda worried he would see this accidentally...)

OMG this is gonna be a long story. But I'm graduating soon... I won't see him after that soo...I guess... I need to decide on this soon..

Please bear with me with the long post.

 

I kinda dated/was seeing this guy 3 years+ ago and for half a year. We were (in fact still are) doing the same course. It all started when one day I ran into him at the bus stop and he asked me if I could show him the way to somewhere. I actually volunteered to take him to there even. After taking him there, he asked me to have lunch together. The lunch was amazing. I think that's when we started kinda dated. Other friends didn't even know we knew each other 'cause I was really shy and would only be seen with him off campus. We barely talked when there were other classmates around. We were texting pretty often and were on MSN once we got home...until time to sleep. It was all good and there were even times he kept sending me really cheesy love songs WHILE he was asking if i liked anyone and I just wouldn't tell him. I was so tempted to tell him but he was always flirting with other girls. So I didn't want to make a fool of myself. We were always trying to have lunch/dinner sometime but it was either me being busy or him.

 

He was really popular among girls. I was really jealous but I wouldn't let it show. He kept telling me how other girls liked him. It finally got onto my nerves when he said one of my really good friends was really into him... because I knew for sure it wasn't true. That's when I was tired of him and his other lies. We stopped talking to each other for like a week or so. And one day he asked me over lunch with a bunch of friends... whether I would suggest him going clubbing with his friends. (weird question I know) I just nodded and said..."why not? exams are over. time to have some fun right?" The next day he kept telling me about this amazing girl he made out with in the club. That's when I got really annoyed and said it was none of my business. Then a week later I tried to talk to him again on MSN at night. It was nothing flirtatious. I was just trying to see if he was doing ok. I knew he had some family issues back then.

 

The next day his best friend came to warn me...saying I shouldn't have talked to him at night and because of that he was having a fight with his girlfriend. He even said like "u know he's a nice guy. he'd not want to hurt your feelings... but u see... he's a gf now...so...AND please dont tell him i told u this..." I tried to play cool about that... but was clearly bugged by the fact that he wouldn't tell me himself. But I just stopped contacting him ever since. I was heartbroken. I did not want to humiliate myself so I didnt verify that with him.

 

He did try to contact me after that. But I knew his best friend would be around... I chose to avoid him and deleted them both on msn. There were so many nights I just wanted to talk to him. I knew I couldn't resist that unless I delete him on MSN and block him even. And we never texted. Since no one (except our mutual and very close friends) knew we were so close before... it was fine for me to not talk to him at all in class.

 

Then it was summer break. I blocked him on msn and had no contact with him for summer. After summer he asked me if he got the messages on msn over the summer. I was like...no. I regretted it and I knew I over-reacted and was being childish. So I tried to explain through a message. He asked me to call him. I called... I told him how I felt about what his friend said. He didn't say much. He kept saying "Is that all u want to say?" "Anymore you want to add?" (btw we dont speak the same language. we communicated by speaking his language. I can imagine me stuttering the entire time back then.) The last thing he said was "okay... All i can say is that i never meant anything he said." He cut off the phone. Then he unfriended me on facebook. I messaged him asking why. He just said "stop bothering me. isnt this obvious enough already?" We had NC for one year.

 

then Last summer I went on summer exchange. I called him from overseas 'cause some new friend told me he was never dating anyone. His friend lied to me. I caled but He wasn't willing to talk to me and I told him I liked him anyway. He just said "I know you did. That's exactly why I'd never want to be friends with you again. Stop bothering me. Please never try talk to me again"

 

We never talked ever since. I heard something about him this year. Someone told me his dad passed away 3 years ago... (she's not 100% sure though.) That's prolly when he contacted me over the summer. I feel really bad for what I did.

 

Since we're graduating soon... we never had a photo of us taken. I was wondering if it'd be a good idea to try talk to him again. We were such good friends...

I know I was being a terrible friend... I just... I dont know...

[jeanettelee]

OH i forgot to ask the question...should i try contacting him again?

 

such a long post...

[blueidealist24]

No, I don't think you should try to contact him. I've had a similar experience. I think that he liked talking/flirting with you, but he didn't want a relationship with you. I think he wanted to be friends in the beginning for sure, but when he found out you had feelings, he bolted. Since he said he didn't want to be friends again, there's no reason to try and be friends with him. He's not worth it if he doesn't appreciate you.

[Amorterra]

I agree with the above. I think if he wanted to be friends with you, he would be. He said he doesn't want to be so you should leave him alone.

[jeanettelee]

Thanks for the replies.

You guys are right. It really isn't a good idea.

I guess I was just trying to make up for what I did to him.

But it does not seem to matter anymore...

So why bother right?

Thanks