Youre not gonna believe all these lies!!!

[WhoCanITrust]

Hello. Awhile back i posted a thread on "cell phone spying". Well im still with this chick but ive been trying to break it off for a few months now. Back it late august i tried and she gave me the dreaded "im pregnant" news. Not good. So we take some tests and sure enough she is. Inexchange for an engagement ring she agrees to terminate the pregnancy. It was the best thing for both of us at the time so i went for it. She gave medeadlines to meet and was very stern on getting the ring before the procedure. I agreed and went ahead w purchasing a 20k ring. I know. Crazybut i did what i had to do. Leading up to the day she toldme that she had a miscarriage. Im thinkng to myself that i made it out. Now i can leave this crazy person. As im telling her its over she says that she lied about the miscarriage and is still preg. I believeher and propossed. Now we are engaged. The appt is for monday so i stay w her in the morning and she turns to me ans says thatshe is not preg. I flip out. How and why is this person lying like this to me?? She is totally messing with me. So over the next few days im planning my escape. Btw we live together which complicates things. Also everyone knows we r engaged now too. Total show. I make her take a test to be sure and it co es out neg. She goes to work the following tues and while she is there i pack up my stuff, leave her a note and bounce. She freaks and comes to my work w two positive preg tests!!! Im like ! So now she is preg again?? Im so confused and my head is spinning. I then ask her to go to pp and get a real test. They test her and say she is 11 wks. The times arent making sense but whatever idk is she me again? Last night i make her take a test in front of me. It comes out negative and now im thinking she is def not preg. She admits to lying about it and says she did have the miscarriage a few weeks back but lied to me so i wouldnt leave her. Wow im losing it now. How many lies can one person tell??? If she loves me would she really do that? Isnt that selfish? So today i say i cant do this and i leave she calls me and says she is preg and to come back home. Aaaaaahhh!!!! . She told she really didnt pee on the test we took last night and that she really is preg. I come back and make her take yet another one. I watch as shes trying to hide herself peeing. She is super shady and i wouldnt put anything past her like swapping it for an old test or somehting. Well i didnt seeher swap it. She gave me the test and two lines were instantly on it. Almost like they were there alreadyy. Then i saw the color move accross the indicator. Imnot really sure how it works. Can it instantly come up positive like this?? Anways thats my up story. I need some major advice. I dont want to be w this girl anymore. This really sucks. Not to mention ive met another girl who im crazy about and i feel like shw might be the one. It is instant connection w her. My life is such a mess right now. I just want it all to go away. Help!!!

[Furbys]

Your previous thread has shown neither of you trust each other so this relationship was doomed from the start. You want to leave her so leave her, do not stay just because she says she is pregnant, that is NOT a good reason to stay in a relationship.

 

No one knows apart from her if she is pregnant or not, but if she is and you leave her then support her during the pregnancy. Do not allow her to emotionally blackmail you or threaten you to stay in the relationship, you dont want to stay so just leave her.

[WhoCanITrust]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I'm not sure if I can leave her if I know she is preg w my child. It is such a hard decision to make. I don't want my family and friends to look down on me also. I'm so confused and it's making me go nuts. My car is still packed w all my stuff. I'm still staying at our place tho. It's so messed up. I almost feel like I'm in too deep to turn back. I mean I did propose and everyone knows we are engaged know. I thought the only way out for me was to do this so she wouldn't have the baby. Now everything has back fired on me and now I'm worse off. I'm in hell.

 

Ps. Sorry about the bad language in my previous post.

[camus154]

I think the whole situation is bizarre and out of control. If you don't want to be with her, then leave her, period. If she's truly pregnant with your child, then deal with that as a man but don't let that be an excuse to stay in a relationship you don't want to be in.

[Dezireey]

Well that's simple. If you just refuse to leave her just because she is possibly pregnant, then go with her lies and relax and let nature take its course. In the meantime, I would highly recommend you do not have sex with her at all as she is obviously fixing to get pregnant even if she isn't right now, to trap you into staying.

 

A few months later you are going to know aren't you? Demand to go to the first midwife appointment and scans. I am currently 5 months pregnant and of course there are symptoms in the beginning and then at 8-9 weeks you should get a midwife appointment that you can also go to (all dads are allowed at appointments, so don't let her tell you otherwise) I am in the UK, so not sure if you are in the US? Over here you get a big pregnancy pack and special Hospital booklet to take all the time to appointments from the doctors once you get your blood tests etc etc. She can't hide something like this, no matter how you look at it. If she is definitely NOT pregnant then you will know and you can just leave, citing her lies as the reason. If you are stupid and have sex with her in the meantime then you only have yourself to blame.

 

Honestly though?, if anyone lied to me on this scale and if I were a man, I would leave her quickly asap and nicely and say 'no problem hunny, if you are definitely pregnant, I am around and I'll be there for you, once I see your expanding bump and feel the baby kick, maybe we can make it work at some point and when the baby is born we can be a family'

 

And no, most pregnancy tests take about 5 minutes to just sit there and have the lines gradually appear on the stick in front of you. Even the most technical ones take a couple of minutes. They don't appear immediately. I think she is not pregnant and is going to extreme lengths to lie to both you and herself, she is biding her time until she actually DOES get pregnant with your baby, so I would leave those bags in the car and disappear quick before she is no longer lying about it. Oh and don't fall for the old chestnut of ..."of course we can have unprotected sex! I am already pregnant, nothing can happen now can it!

[WhoCanITrust]

Thank you for your helpful post. I figured that I shouldn't have sex w her. I don't trust her at all. Back in august when she told me and showed me a test was the last time. That was over 16 wks ago. She claims she went to plannedparenthood and they told her she was 11 wks. Things aren't adding up here. I'm starting to think that somehow she is faking the tests. Maybe she bought fake ones off eBay. This stuff actually exists! Sick people out there. She tells me thAt pp does not let the man participate in the appts at all. She goes there cuz she doesn't have insurance. I want her to go to a real obgyn with me and prove that she is preg. All of this is so insane. In one of her lies she claims she had the miscarriage. She later said she was lying after I left. But maybe she really did. That could explain why the tests came back positive. The hcg hormone would most likely still be in her system. Ugh. I'm going insane. Thanks again for your helpful words.

[Sweetkisses22]

She sounds like a complete psycho. I wouldnt want her to be a mother if i were you. Ps a pregnancy test is not immediate results. You have to wait like 5 minutes for the lines to fully appear. She is lying. It wad probably a used test from before. Why dont youbjust brjng her to the gyno and make them take the test there.