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How long to wait? School and work girl...


spainman_88

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I'm in a graduate program with a girl I met a couple of months ago...we currently have one class together and have gradually become friendlier during the course of the class. Additionally, we both are interns at the same organization. We don't work together there and meet up for lunch once a week, but otherwise we don't see each other in the office. When I got the internship there, she was pretty excited that I'd be there too, and now she consistently texts me for lunch on the days when we're both in there.

 

Even before I started there I sensed some possible interest chatting during class breaks, etc. A couple of times she's lingered to talk with me after class, our lunch breaks at the office tend to linger longer than just eating, and she seems to laugh a lot when we're talking, even if I'm not that funny. The last time we went to lunch at the office we were debating different places and she said something about how "we have plenty of chances to try" places together.

 

Thing is, I don't know how to proceed. We're sort of flirty, and since we spend a bit of time together I'm hoping we can build up a good rapport over a little while...I don't want to ask her out too soon since we do see each other a bit, but I also don't want to miss a chance and be 'friend zoned' (if she is interested in more than friends). Any takes on how I should proceed?

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Well...so apparently she has a boyfriend (the girl I discussed in the above post). She mentioned that today during lunch. However, her other signs are sort of misleading given that...including a couple of other things she said today.

 

We went to lunch today like we have for a few weeks, and after getting take-out she suggested that we go sit down on a bench by the river to eat instead of going back to the office. We did that, and in conversation she mentioned the boyfriend (in a casual way in conversation, not as in "i have a boyfriend, back off" sense), but she also suggested that she and I hang out outside of school/work in the future. She invited me to a bar near her house with a bunch of people Friday night (although I'll be out of town then) and said "we should ski together this winter" when she found out I ski. Seems like she's suggesting hanging out more...

 

No, I'm not going to make a move on a girl with a boyfriend. I know that's wrong and I don't want to get involved with that. But I'm wondering why she seems so flirty/friendly, laughs at lots of stuff I say (she kept doing it today too) and suggests that we hang out more outside of school/work. I enjoy hanging out with her, so I'm not entirely opposed to doing so more, but I guess I don't understand her seeming interest if she has a boyfriend. And from what I gather, he isn't a 'new' boyfriend, they've been together a while and I think they even moved to this city together this past summer. She did also mention that her boyfriend will be away for 2 months this winter (not in an inviting sense to me, just casually also). Any takes on why she's seeming to show so much interest in this situation?

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