Help.

[Gymboy]

Hi guys, I could really do with a bit of advice regarding my current situation. I've been split up with the ex for a good 6 months now the last 3 months being completely nc, which really helped me move on with my life and make the changes I needed to make. Anyway weve been in contact for the last week and she has asked If I want to go for a drink sometime when she's next in town. I've said yes. My problem is how do I stop getting my hopes up that something might happen between us? Don't get me wrong I'm absolutely loving my life right now and I'm in a really good place, when we ended I was borderline depressed to be honest. Im not even sure if I want to get back with her, I don't want to be just friends (neither does she), and we both want to be involved in each others life in some way. I really don't know what to do? I want to be with her now (in some capacity) because I'm a really happy bloke at the moment and the things that ruined our relationship (me being a moaning sap for 6 months), are no longer there. I guess I would like to start a new relationship with her but I don't know how to keep my hopes in check if things go wrong? Tough situation.

 

Anyone had any similar experiences? Reconciliation? Should I even go for this drink?

[somethngwrng]

I say go for the drink with no hopes or expectations. The fact that you would "like to start a new relationship" with her shows you are going in with some form of expectation. Would you go on a first date with someone, or see someone new as a friend thinking "I want this person to be my friend/partner for a long time"? Don't discuss a relationship/reconciliation in any way. Don't talk about the old relationship, what went wrong, make apologies or anything like that. Any of those discussions will make yourself vulnerable to being hurt again. Imagine it just like catching up with an old friend... because at this point, that's what it is.