Do u think I did like him but I lied to myself and messed up??

[chr8st8na]

So here's the story. We were dating for 5 months and saw each other consistently once or twice a week. There were several times we both would agree that we didn't have much in common and agree that it was good to go meet other people. So it sounds like a break-up but what would happen every time is that we would always end up going out for lunch the next week or one of us would contact each other to make small talk or he would invite me to join him doing yardwork or cleaning the gutter (which i enjoy haha) or go shopping to buy his daughter something. We both confided in one another that we were unhappy with our lives so it was the 'misery loves company' type of relationship. So it was never really the end.... Then this past month I just felt like I needed to be the strong one.... I was kind of harsh but i thought I was telling the truth and doing the right thing by going NC with him.... Now I'm not sure if I was telling him the truth.

So our last talk, I told him that I do like him as a person but I don;t feel any strong connection to him that would make me want to stay. I said that it doesn;t matter any way because we used each other just for company from the beginning so this ending was bound to happen. I told him that I know he's dating other ppl and now I want to date another guy. So I said that since I want to start dating this guy, I want to go NC with him so I don't give the new guy the wrong impression.

Now I am dating this new guy for almost a month and all I can think about is the last guy. I really miss him.... and it's weird because it's a missing of nothing in particular. He's quiet and intense so I don;t know why I miss him. I am no longer unhappy and the new guy is actually very thoughtful and funny (but he does tend to talk too much) and sometimes I just want to pick up the phone and hear the last guy even if its his breathing.

Does it sound like I did like him and but maybe was in self-denial?? Or I just got in to the habit of being around him and now I miss the company?? I want to contact him but I don't want to go baack if it's the habit I miss and not him. But I'm not sure which is what I miss.... Somehow I have this feeling inside that makes me feel like it's all very unfair for me. I know... I am a piece of work huh?

Any feedbacks will be welcome.

[Raaawr]

So here's the story. We were dating for 5 months and saw each other consistently once or twice a week. There were several times we both would agree that we didn't have much in common and agree that it was good to go meet other people.

Were you ever jealous of him meeting other people?

 

So it sounds like a break-up but what would happen every time is that we would always end up going out for lunch the next week or one of us would contact each other to make small talk or he would invite me to join him doing yardwork or cleaning the gutter (which i enjoy haha) or go shopping to buy his daughter something. We both confided in one another that we were unhappy with our lives so it was the 'misery loves company' type of relationship.

Ok this is important. did you believe that or did you say it because you were afraid of something and it was easier?

 

So it was never really the end.... Then this past month I just felt like I needed to be the strong one.... I was kind of harsh but i thought I was telling the truth and doing the right thing by going NC with him.... Now I'm not sure if I was telling him the truth.

What are the doubts you are feeling? How did he react? How did the reaction make you feel?

 

So our last talk, I told him that I do like him as a person but I don;t feel any strong connection to him that would make me want to stay.

Could that be because you were resigned, possibly both of you, to it being just a misery loves company thing?

 

I said that it doesn;t matter any way because we used each other just for company from the beginning so this ending was bound to happen. I told him that I know he's dating other ppl and now I want to date another guy. So I said that since I want to start dating this guy, I want to go NC with him so I don't give the new guy the wrong impression.

That was a good choice.

 

Now I am dating this new guy for almost a month and all I can think about is the last guy. I really miss him.... and it's weird because it's a missing of nothing in particular. He's quiet and intense so I don;t know why I miss him. I am no longer unhappy and the new guy is actually very thoughtful and funny (but he does tend to talk too much) and sometimes I just want to pick up the phone and hear the last guy even if its his breathing.

How is your relationship in terms of talking to this new guy? Could you tell the other guy more because you knew him longer?

 

Does it sound like I did like him and but maybe was in self-denial??

Its a possibility but only you really know that. You may have decided that it was never going to be a relationship early on and stopped any feelings being realized. Could you have been put off by his daughter perhaps?

 

Or I just got in to the habit of being around him and now I miss the company?? I want to contact him but I don't want to go baack if it's the habit I miss and not him. But I'm not sure which is what I miss.... Somehow I have this feeling inside that makes me feel like it's all very unfair for me. I know... I am a piece of work huh?

Any feedbacks will be welcome.

Could it be his friendship that you miss?