i think it's the end...

[Aika]

Hi there, I posted before about mi GF don't know if you remember, anyways now I'm in a big trouble, it started as jealously, but now don't know what it is..

 

see.. remember the virginity stuff?, I posted before, that i talked to her about the whole thing and the thing got a little ugly.. but well, it got worked out and everything was fine, however.. as something got fixed up, a new problem that wasn't so big n stuff started to bother me, it's her friends, I don't know all of them, but hell, a LOT of friends.. she always hangs around with this guy I know, a cool nice guy and a friend of mine as well who has two little twin brothers, she spends a lot of time with the brothers trio when im not around cause of school and stuff.

The thing is i started noticing that when i'm with her she's all normal like, hi, kisses n stuff, but when she gets a phone call from this guys she laughs and talk a lot, like an hour on the phone, and then goes out with them and I see this complete new face all happy laughing alone.. so I wonder, what's that about o__o it happens a lot, I have this weird school schedule and when i gotta go study, she hangs out with them, sometimes she stays over there all night and I get photos of this "parties" in all of them I see her huggin one of peter's (the nice guy i told you about) younger brothers, always very close, laughing, almost kissing sometimes this little guy is 14 and she's 20 so i don't care that much... but it gets me real upset, cause i know this kid like's her and i see pictures of them sleeping together all huggin n stuff .. sort of a kick in the stomach to me y'know ...

 

well i talked to her about this thing and about what it does to me, and she say's it's a lie, cause for her there's nothing else in the world than me, the smile changing when she goes out with them its real... but she won't admit it, i've talked to her friends sometimes and they seem to know very intimate things about her that I don't even knew o.O

so i wonder... do I really know her???

after i talked to her about that thing she got real mad, and we didn't see each other for 4 days, i got mad to, i mean.. the one with the real head killing was me and she got all mad cause of that but well, we talked again and got together again, however things wasn't the same...

we both have 2 MSN accounts, one for the normal public, friends n stuff, and another private one, for us two alone, now she will only conect the normal one, and put's weird things in her avatar and her nickname. avatar pictures of her hugging that kid, or kissing him (when she used to put photos of us together) and weird confusing nicknames, like strange poems. one was to that kid, saying "hold me, cause this empty world breaks my heart" or.. something like that.. imagine how it was eating my head

So again I talked to her.. what the hell is this all about and she told me that for her the only thing she loved was me, I was her wolrd etc.. but after I told her that, everything changed, because while we spent 4 days without knowing anything about each other, her friends were with her cause they missed her (missed her? they spent almost everyday together and it was only them who cared about her those days (it was me who'd toss my friends when she asked me to spent more time with her, and it was me the one who'd only think of her every single day...) so, she decided not to be separate from her friends anymore, cause it was no way to thank them.

ok, she was mad, and backing herself up by the very reason i broke my head in the firt place, for her there is her friends an me, while im blind only for her... by the time this was happening she was all mad again and started hurting me with hings she said, like the virginity?? she started that mess again, I was starting to get over it, i didn't care about that anymore, but she told me things, and.. that stuff.... reopened my wound and pretty deep now. She told me she wanted time, so right now we're not together and the reason I post this is because I'm thinking of defintly breaking up with her, I feel I've lost her forever, and that things won't ever be the same... so she wants time... to come back with me after she spents aaaalll day long with her friends, sleeping toghether with that "crazy hands" little ...... while I've missing her like crazy... I don't know, so ... plz advice me... i've never been so lost

[evepm]

Dear Aika:

 

The decision to break it off with her can only be made by you.

 

I don't think that this girl is giving you much respect. I really feel that it's inappropriate for her be hanging around all night with three guys.

 

One thing that I hope you don't do when you get into a relationship again is dumping your friends for a girl. Your friends are part of your life and a girl should respect that. Plus your friends are the people who are going to be there for you when things go wrong. I wish the best of luck to you and I hope that my words have helped you.

 

Take Care,

Eve

[Aika]

mm well..yeah sounds reasonable.. but it's just so hard... I love her a lot.. I've never felt this way for someone... so It's not so simple for me to make a choice here

 

well one thing.. pretty often she stays over this guys place, and in parties where shes the only girl, and there are like 7 guys, well.. so long this been going im kinda used, but about the whole thing.. i'd love if it could change.. i'd love it if she could see what I mean... but she just wont give her part to understand this... yet, I don`t wanna lose her ... its a real killer