hawks0523 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 My girlfriend broke up with me and we were separated for 8 months so she could work on herself. During this time everything went through my head and I thought that she was breaking up with me so she could find someone else (in particular a married guy that she had worked with and been getting food/drinks with). This was not the case; however, I have an extremely hard time of letting this go (no matter what she does) and trusting her. She is going to get drinks with him again today and last night I got angry. I really want to rebuild my trust and move forward. Does anyone have any ideas/advise on what to work on or what helps with this sort of thing....all help is appreciated. Thanks Link to comment
DN Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Why is she seeing this married guy for meals and drinks - what's that all about? Does his wife know about this? Link to comment
hawks0523 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 She says that it is for business...they have worked together in the past. I don't feel that it is appropriate and I expressed this to her. She was extremely offended that I was basically accusing her breaking up a marriage by saying that i thought it was inappropriate. She is currently looking for a job and said how is it going to be if I work with guys? I don't think that she sees where I'm coming from; instead, she only thinks of me as being insecure and untrusting. Link to comment
DN Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Does she have drinks and meals alone with other colleagues? Does he? Link to comment
hawks0523 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 lunch yes, drinks no. i dont know too much about him Link to comment
DN Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 If she is doing things with him that she doesn't do with other colleagues and there is no work-related reason then what she is doing is inappropriate. Link to comment
hawks0523 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 She says that they talk about business and are "catching up". I'm pretty sure that his wife knows my girlfriend. I will say that she went to lunch yesterday and is going to lunch tomorrow with two other business guys. I don't know that i trust the guy (I trust her). Why would a 35 year old married man with kids want to go to drinks with a good looking 25 year old chick to talk about business? I know guys intentions.... The thing that is tough for me is I could potentially do these sorts of things as well, but out of respect I don't want to put her in this sort of situation. Link to comment
DN Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 if it is legitimate business talk then you should have no issues - but it seems you do. Why is that? Link to comment
hawks0523 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 I think it is because I still have it in my head that he played into our break up (emotional cheating). Also, when we had just broken up I went to the town she moved to and he happened to be in that town and she picked to hang out with him over me (and another work colleague whom she is doing lunch with tomorrow).... I brought this up last night and she said we were broken up i had no obligation to hang out with you. I realize that if it is strictly work related. I think the thing that bothers me the most is I do not see her being okay with me doing the same thing, let alone drinks and lunch with different guys three days in a row. Link to comment
DN Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Have you asked her about that - you doing it too? Link to comment
WindowTo Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I am with you on this one. There are no business discussions that require drinks (although plenty that they improve). Just this guy and girl alone? And he is married? And they are drinking? Extremely inappropriate. Doesn't have to have anything to do with your break up, and it may not. Link to comment
hawks0523 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 Doesn't seem to appropriate to me; however, when I tell my girlfriend this she thinks im just being insecure and can't see it as being inappropriate? Link to comment
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