swimmbaby Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Hi I'm new to this...but i'm tired of hearing the same advice from my friends and need outsiders perspectives. I'll start from the beginning... basically we started dating when we were seniors in high school. We were really good friends and went to prom together then had the most amazing summer of our lives before we went to separate colleges in the fall. Our freshman year of college he hated his school but did really well with academics while I was suffering with an unbearable roommate and had really bed grades at a bigger university. I became diagnosed with depression in the spring and i really leaned on him because I didn't really have many friends at school yet. This caused a lot of fights becuase i was becoming really needy and dependent. I was emotionally unstable until I started taking medication. But then when the summer came around i took myself off of the medicine because I figured it was seasonal. The change caused me to be a little crazy for awhile but even though we fought sometimes we really had fun and fell even more in love. He told my dad he was going to marry me in august. (btw you don't tell my dad that unless you want to marry me or be killed, he's the football coach at our high school and im his only girl in a house full of boys and he was at one point a propect NFL lineman so he's a pretty scary ma This next year at school I started back up on my meds and I was finally taking them long enough for the full affect to work. But my ex who just had transferred to my school was having trouble keeping up with school. He has a bad schedule because he was one of the last people to make it since he was a transfer. This year is significantly tougher for him then last and after getting a 3.8 at his last school I think he was expecting different. I was so excited that he was finally at school with me that I kinda jumped the gun on being with him all the time. It was exciting for him to only live a minute away because even back at home we live about 45 min apart. We both had our own place and were free to do as we please. I wanted to be with him all the time and for awhile we basically lived together. He asked for space a little bit like that we maybe not sleep over as much but nothing really changed. Our fights grew because he was becoming more and more distant and I was pulling more and more. Eventually after a fight about me being homesick and wanting to come spend the night with him and him not letting me he said he needed a couple days of space to think about things. Of course I went over there that night to work things out and beg, then after one day of no contact I did it again, then after 3 days of no contact I did it again and he told me he needed a couple weeks of space. So after 6 days of no contact I texted him if we could talk and he got really mad and said that I disrespect him and that he was done and needed a couple months of space. So I called him and got mad that he ended a year and a half relationship over the phone and we ended it over the phone. He didn't really tell anyone about our break up, but when he did he would just say I just needed space. After a week of no contact I needed to get some of my stuff back and we ended up sleeping together and at the end of the night he told me that there was a possibility over christmas break we would try again and that he still loved and cared for me and probably always will. He said that he didn't want to be in a relationship right now and he didn't even want to call it single he just wanted to be alone. He said he wanted to be friends but I told him that I wanted to work on myself and be able to show him that i've really changed and grown up. We didn't talk for almost three weeks but he deleted our pics on facebook and tweeted some things that sounded like he was dating someone else so I texted him and ask if I should move on. And he said yes so i asked if I could call him so we could talk and he said he'd prefer not. so I asked him why we would never work and he said you haven't made me happy for awhile and I asked if he still loved me and he said no, so I called him he didn't answer and he went off on me saying that I piss him off more than anyone and that I need to learn how to listen and that I was such a * * * * * to him that he doesn't care that he hurts me anymore and what goes around comes around.. I didn't respond and I probably never will.. but what is going through his head? could he come back when he gets that space? why was he being so mean last night.... please any suggestions or similar situations? Link to comment
Furbys Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Well to me it looks like he became more distant and angry with you because you wouldn't give him the space he needed. This probably really annoyed him and made him dislike you abit, and this gave him the excuse to leave you and maybe date other people. I personally don't think he will come back unless it doesn't work out with the new girl, but if it doesn't work out then don't jump back into bed with him, he would only be coming back because he knows you want him back. Don't sleep with him in the hope he will change his mind and want to be with you again because it wont happen that way. I think you need to move on from him, hes become a nasty person because he believes this will be the best way to 'get rid of you'. I say this because if he was nice to you then you would keep contacting him and would think you have a chance. Do no contact, you really need to do this to help move on but you must stick to it. You haven't stuck to it so well in the past and you can see that it didn't end well. Stick to NC, go out, do a hobby, date new guys, just don't sleep with him if he comes running back because his relationship failed. You need to stay strong. Link to comment
alwaysmoving Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 You were too dependent on him and had no life of your own. Guys don't like that. I'm thinking that he figured he couldn't ask you nicely to leave him alone because you wouldn't listen so he had to be mean about it. Leave him alone for as long as he needs. Eventually he'll reach out to you. Link to comment
swimmbaby Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 And his birthday is wednesday should i wish him happy birthday? Link to comment
swimmbaby Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 also i'm not really sure he is talking to this girl.. he's not the kind of guy to go out of his way to talk to people. what makes me sad is that i'm joining a sorority in the winter and i was going to have a new life aside from him and be out and whatever. but it sounds like he won't give me a chance to show him that i can be that independent sexy girl he first met Link to comment
mgm Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 Wow I know this post is very old. Just wish I knew the outcome of it? Link to comment
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