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Trying to find the point in life...


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Struggling to find the point in anything these days. I'm crazy busy, have a great family and good life but I'm just so down & empty these days. I've lost two of my best friends lately (not died just not friends anymore). I sometimes wonder if it would affect anyone if I was dead. Life would just go on & it wouldn't impact anyone really. How do I get out of this....funk?? 2011 has been hard bc of my husbands illness & financial struggles but I should be handling it better. On the outside everyone thinks I'm great. I feel like everyone is taking from me & not giving. Like everyone is so self absorbed. Help! Rational words please!

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With your financial troubles and your husband's illness this year, it has been a difficult year for you. You've been very busy... perhaps that is why you have not had the time to maintain the two friendships you have lost?


Although it may not seem like people care, it is because we all have problems, to greater or lesser degrees. When one has a problem, even if it is very small, it seems huge to the person dealing with it. If they cannot even deal with their own problems, it is very difficult for them to see beyond them to someone else's. It is not because they don't care, only that they are overwhelmed with just the issues they themselves are dealing with.


If you were gone, it would definitely would impact at least one person's life: your husband's. If he is going through a difficult illness, he is surely counting on you a lot. It must be very frustrating for him, and I imagine he is venting out his frustration quite a bit on you. I imagine it must be quite overwhelming for him as it is for you.


The best thing to do? Map out exactly what it is you need to do, in detail. Make a plan of how to deal with the illness, and your financial situation, in a way that is reasonable. No one is expecting you to pull a rabbit out of a hat, but there are definite steps you can make to deal with the situation, no matter how desperate it may seem. It may mean changing your lifestyle a bit, and having less luxuries, to get the finances back in order. But with courage and discipline, it can be done.


For two those friends you have lost? Why not try calling them up again? If that is not possible, perhaps there are other friendships you could start? It really would be to your benefit to have a friend to talk to, to get away from the other problems once in a while. Even the most hardy need to come back to the surface and to take a breather, once in a while.

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