Jump to content

A few days after the breakup and I am doing a bit better.

oasisrob22

By oasisrob22
in Breaking Up Advice

Recommended Posts

oasisrob22 Collaborator

oasisrob22

Posted
Posted

Hey all,

 

Quick back story: Ex-girlfriend and I broke up this past Sunday. We dated last year for 7 months, then she broke up with me due to my drunken verbal abuse problems. Went NIC the first month and NC the next 6 months after that, going to counseling and working on myself. We re-connected last spring and decided to start fresh in a new relationship in July. She drunkenly broke up with me last month, quickly regretted it, we worked things out and moved forward. Two weeks ago, she cheated on me by drunkenly kissing back some band member on his tour bus (which I still don't 100% believe but who knows). She came forward to me the next day about it and gave me a few days to decide what I wanted to do. Since we invested so much in working things out the second time around, I decided to push forward. Then she dumped me last week saying that we were at different points in our lives and that she needs to be single and work on herself.

 

So I was very gutted on Sunday when this happened, and took off work on Monday and Tuesday. Lack of sleep and intense stomach pains consumed me. I went back to work on Wednesday and now today, I am feeling better. We had our formal work evaluation yesterday and I blew it out of the water, which made me feel pretty confident in myself.

 

I've initiated strict NIC and I initiated NC on all other ends, including deleting off Twitter and blocked on Facebook and my Gmail account. She has contacted me twice since then: on Monday, asking why I blocked her on Facebook...to which I replied that I had to move on and she said she understands. She texted me again this morning saying she can come pick up her one piece of furniture at my apartment (only item of hers I have left in my possession) tomorrow, and that she also said that her friend B and his buddy slept at her place because B's buddy was hooking up with my ex's roommate, and B "needed a place to crash on the couch". She said she didn't hook up with him at all, and wanted to be upfront with me because she didn't want me to hear from someone else and think she was being inconsiderate of my feelings. I texted back saying I didn't really care but it's probably a good idea not to text me what guys stay over, whether they are banging her or crashing on her couch. And I also said tomorrow wouldn't work to pick up her couch since I leave town tomorrow.

 

This damn couch is keeping me from fully moving on. I am doing my best to focus at work, read and post on ENA, and be around the company of my good friends in the evenings.

 

I go from feeling angry, to sad, to relieved all the time. I get angry when I realize she's a cheater and deceitful, then sad because I thought of her once as a wonderful girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, to relieved that I'm not in a relationship with someone who has cheated on 3 of her past 4 boyfriends (myself included).

 

I think she texts me things about guys staying over because she doesn't want me to hate her, but I dunno.

 

Any words of advice or encouragement are definitely appreciated in this tough time for me. Also any insight into her texting actions. I told her on Sunday when we broke up to not text or call me, and I told her today to not text me until we're both back in town so we can make arrangements to pick up her couch.

 

I'm able to sleep a bit better and I've been slowly eating a bit more, but my heart is still crushed.

Link to comment
oasisrob22 Collaborator

oasisrob22

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Well, I actually live in a big communal house that is protected with a key code (I said apartment just to make it simpler ) and she wanted to come by and pick it up tomorrow. Well, one I'm going out of town, and two, we sell out our parking lot here for college football games for fans needing to park. So she said she didn't want to come and "have an audience" stare at her moving the couch out with her grandfather, who was supposed to help her.

Link to comment
magnoliatree Rookie

magnoliatree

Posted
Posted
Well, I actually live in a big communal house that is protected with a key code (I said apartment just to make it simpler ) and she wanted to come by and pick it up tomorrow. Well, one I'm going out of town, and two, we sell out our parking lot here for college football games for fans needing to park. So she said she didn't want to come and "have an audience" stare at her moving the couch out with her grandfather, who was supposed to help her.

 

Enjoy your time away and don't think about her or her stupid sofa. You're doing everything right, and though it's tempting to read into her text, just don't. She's not worth it (and I'm not saying that in a cliche way, this woman is clearly just no good!). You will get through this. You've taken all the right steps. Just keep moving forward. You can do it!!

Link to comment
nowIcansee Newbie

nowIcansee

Posted
Posted

Keep up that NC. You are better off with out this girl. If you both truly did try to work on the issues you had from your previous splits then things should've gotten better. They didn't. Just carry on with your life and working on any issues you think you can improve so you are ready for your next more positive relationship.

Link to comment
sonypirates Rookie

sonypirates

Posted
Posted

I do believe people can change in terms of infidelity but 3/4 (possibly even the 4th, you never know for sure) is just sad and pathetic. Why would anyone want to be in a committed monogamous relationship with someone with those issues? You should be thankful you're finally not with this person or wasting time on her anymore.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...