I feel an emotion I have never felt before sins i lft brstl

[Laura Ashley]

Hey everyone,

I'm 15 yrs old and 3 weeks ago I went down to Bristol to visit my sister who I hardly ever see anymore since she left home.

At first I wasn't that happy about going because she fixed me up to a week of work experiance were she works, and I thought "yay fun work during the holidays! (sarcasm)"

But my first day was okay. I was a bit nervous because of a new town and new people.

My 2nd was great it really was! I met new people and to my amazment they talked to me. They offered to make me a tea or coffee when they took turns, they made me laugh and evan invited me out when they went for a pub lunch! I was shocked because at home in hull no-one EVER does anything like that!! when my 1st week was up I begged my sister to let me go again the next week but she only let me do a couple of days a week! So i made the most of it.

I know it seems strange but at home I'm a something not a someone.At work i'm a someone not a something. I thought people at work would have ignored me because im the youngest and im the new girl but the never which mad me feel so special.

The smallest things that people did for me meant a lot to me. I sat with technisions and they made me laugh without realising it. I mean one bopped to his music and had a permanent grin to his face,another took the piss out of my sister when she did her touch typing (she looked like a zombie!! another guy swore at his computer a lot when it didn't work.that just made me laugh for some reason!

 

I came home on sunday and I feel empty. I havent smiled I havent laughed evan though my two bestest friends in the whol world came to visit me.

I don't feel as though I love my mum and dad anymore! I have never like it in hull and want to move out asap mum and dad never treat my older brother (32) or my sister (31 with the proper love respect the should have.

my sister doesnt love mum and dad at all. She will send a seasonal card and put best wishes rather than love from.

 

My mum used to beat my brother up a lot and tried to stop my sister from going to university and told her she was far to stupid to go!

 

mum and dad have changed a lot over the years to what they used to but mum still screams at me a whole lot for petty things like if I have left the doors open.

Mum thinks im been akward for not smiling. but i have nothing to smile about!

they leave me on my own for hours at a time. I have grown up to hate been on my own but i like my own space and get very pissed off if people invade my personal space.

How ever I want to go back to bristol to live I hate it here soooo much I hate more than ever now.

 

There is nothing for me to look forwoods to and I want to be back at work in bristol wher people CARE for me.

 

mum and dad love me but they have a bad way of showing it. They buy me things but I don't want gifts I want to be loved and not to be on my own!

 

I'm not sure what I have wrote mad sense but I need to know what to do.

 

i tried talking to mum and dad but they think im been ungratefull. I wish I had different parents sometimes I really do.

 

mum said if i don't like it here I can go to bristol to stay! I wish she would send me back. I know it wont be fun all the time but i will feel loved.

I know mum will never let me go I think she is trying to threaten me but I see it as a okay thing!

I expect many of you think im a cow 4 saying things like that but if you knew my mum and dad you'd know how I feel.

I miss Bristol a lot and want to be there now. I miss sitting at a dinner table and laughing with my sis and her boyfriend and going to work and seeing people and talking to the receptionist.

I dont know why I wrote this I guess I wanted some comfort or advice.

thank-you for reading eva though its really boring!

love allways Laura xx

[NotGay,Really]

Oh Laura... What you wrote wasn't boring at all.

 

I am glad you found that you could have such a good time with your sister and new friends in Bristol. It sounds like your home life is very unpleasant. I am sorry your parents are not able to make you happy in the same way you were in Bristol.

 

You do understand that, at 15, you are supposed to stay with your parents, don't you? Unless they are actually being abusive, it is unlikely that you would be able to "get away."

 

You say you can't smile at home-- even when you are with your friends. Try and think about what it was at Bristol that made you smile. What made you happy? And then try to think of ways you can achieve that where you are now.

 

Remember that you were unsure of how it would be when you traveled away for the week. You are just as responsible for your happiness there as the circumstances in which you found yourself.

 

You will be at home for a few more years, at least. (I know it must seem like an eternity!) But I believe you have seen that it is possible to achieve happiness. Just work to do that wherever you are.

 

All best wishes to you.