Between Two Hearts

[ConfusedFilly]

Hey guys

 

I need some urgent advice please.. please !!

 

Ok, I really adore my boyfriend, I love him so much I can't imagine my life without him right now. So why can't I stop thinking about my friend? My friend, say his name is John, has been in my life for a few years now...I have always fancied him I must be honest, but nothing ever came of it. When I got with my boyfriend last year though, John became very attached to me and very protective of me. He started to show all the signs I had wanted him to show the last 3 years..but it was too late and I told him that..

 

So being as stubborn as I am, I tried to ignore the way he was with me...and it did work...well he got the message anyways after some time. But since then there has been something different between us which I can feel, and I think he can feel also. I try to tell myself to forget about him but once I see him again I go crazy. It's not fair on my boyfriend but I don't want to let him go. How can I have such strong feelings for two people? I need to make a choice, but I don't feel John will take me seriously if I tell him how I feel after me dissing him before. I'm stuck in the middle ... Help!!

 

ConfusedFilly

[pl3asehelp]

Tell your boyfriend how you feel. You're correct, this isn't fair to him. I understand you don't want to let him go, but unless he's agreed to an open relationship with you, he deserves to know that is essentially what he is in right now so that he can make the choice to end it or not. You're not emotionally monogamous with your boyfriend. In the future, you should tell someone how you feel about them - had you done that with your friend and not wasted all of those years hiding the truth, you'd likely be in a different situation right now.

[DylanNotorious]

Cut your friendship with John. Tell him you want more than just friendship if he wants to stick around you. Come on, it's been 3 years it's time to get it sorted out.

 

But you ideally should approach this whole thing as a single gal. Not a gal who has a boyfriend who is totally oblivious to what's going on. That's not really fair to him, to keep him as your back-up choice. Time to be a big girl and face the consequences of it all.

 

Your doing yourself a real dis-service keeping the b/friend around as number two. Would you want to be number two to anyone? No.

 

So yeah, be upfront with John boy, and just cut to the chase.

[Capricorn3]

Cut your friendship with John. Tell him you want more than just friendship if he wants to stick around you. Come on, it's been 3 years it's time to get it sorted out.

 

But you ideally should approach this whole thing as a single gal. Not a gal who has a boyfriend who is totally oblivious to what's going on. That's not really fair to him, to keep him as your back-up choice. Time to be a big girl and face the consequences of it all.

 

Your doing yourself a real dis-service keeping the b/friend around as number two. Would you want to be number two to anyone? No.

 

So yeah, be upfront with John boy, and just cut to the chase.

^^ THIS. You need to make up your mind who is more important to you. I get the feeling that John thinks he has a big chance to get together with you, so is it possible you have been subconsciously encouraging him and/or leading him on? If so, then you have to be upfront and tell him there's no chance anymore. It's very unfair keeping your boyfriend as a backup.

 

If you still can't make up your mind which to choose, then it's best to break up with your boyfriend and tell him why - that there's another guy you're interested in. Maybe being single a while is the best way to go to sort yourself out.

[rosie smith]

no your not being far on your boyfriend but if you tell him how you feel you are bound to loose him and do you want to take that chance and also why would you leave the one you love for the one you like cause you know how the saying goes the one you love then always goes off with the one they like

 

seriously talk to family about how you feel, don't rush into anything cause you will prob end up loosing both these guys if you do and also bear in mind that there was a reason you picked your boyfriend over your friend

 

once you have decided to talk to your boyfriend or talk to your friend there is no going back so either cut your friend out of your life and tell him why you are doing that or talk to your boyfriend but remember when you do he will prob be annoyed with you and walk away and not turn back.

 

sorry if my post sounds really harsh but trust me when I say you don't wanna end up loosing both guys do you?? just think about things carefully cause only you can make a decision about what to do about things

 

good luck