Can't let go

[lostinthecloud]

My boyfriend and I were together 2 wonderful years then the situation changed and it ended abruptly. We had no contact for 8 months and a lot happened during that time. We have been back together for 5 months and we now live together. We have no problems, expect for past issues coming up every now and then because they haven't been resolved or fully dealt with. Tonight we got in a fight about things that happened while we weren't together. We both haven't come to term with certain things even though we know we can't change the past. How do you pick up the pieces? How long will past issues still haunt the present?

[Goodfellas]

Do the things that happened while you weren't together involve being with other people?

[lostinthecloud]

Yes. Even though we both have expressed that the people we slept with while we weren't together didn't mean anything. I guess it comes down to our mutual belief that sex is extremely sacred when with the person you love and are committed to. But, we both went a little crazy when we weren't together.

[Goodfellas]

I can see this being a huge barrier to reconciling. Maybe 8 months wasn't enough time to fully move on from the first relationship. After all, it is a new relationship despite being with the same person.

 

If you don't mind me asking, how many partners in the 8 months are we talking here? How old are you two?

[lostinthecloud]

It is definitely a barrier, however, it has become apparent that it is slightly more of an issue for me than it is for him. He thinks that is because we have different ways of dealing with things. We started talking after 8 months, but didn't officially get back together for another 3 months after that. It is a possibility we didn't have enough time to fully move on.

He is 21 and I am 20. He was with 3 women and I was with also with 3 guys. I guess it also bothers me more because he was the one who initiated the break up and I was no longer his one and only sexual partner.