Is it time to move on and kick her out?

[mistawolf]

About 3 years ago we met and hit it off, and things went great. So great it was like being in high school again on that first date. I had just got out of a relationship and she made me so happy. I was a kid in a candy store, we had a great first year (sexless i might add).

 

One day I was fed up of bringing her over to my house, and I made the mistake of going in to see what she had been living in and refused to let her go back. It was unbelievable, I had never seen such a mess, and it was all her roommates mess, they owned the property she never set foot else where other then her room. To give you a picture here, The cat box was never cleaned out, the cats everywhere! from the front door to the kitchen. There was piles of trash. The Kitchen was a mess, dirty dishes everywhere you couldn't use the counter let alone see it. it was bad!

 

Her room was mildly messy and i felt so bad. That night we stayed together at my house and I asked her to move in with me. From that day on we have been together and living under same roof for about 2 years now, things where great. I got her to start college with me, we do everything together. We had our rough moments at first with chore's we still do, but its worked it self out. granted its still not working the best... I'm not trying to say its all her fault that I feel our relationship is going down hill but its true that she doesn't help out at all around the house.

 

She doesn't listen to anything i say to her and everything i say is to help her. she doesn't help around the house, she's the biggest procrastinator iv ever met, and doesn't ever get up for work on time and is always late, even though she lives 5mins from work (IF! its a red light).

 

Iv tried to help, I set my alarm and kick her ass outta bed. I remind her multiple times that she needs to get her homework done or laundry needs to be done, and that leads into an argument. she does stupid like today, i asked her if she was hungry, i leave the house an get food and shes gone when i get back... she finally gets back and shes got food for us. our sex life sucks, she try's but never has initiated once in our relationship, unless you count me basically telling her its time to do something after 3 weeks of nothing yet I still do everything to please her.

 

I'm fed up, I don't know what to do anymore. I love her so much and tried to make it work, iv talked to her about the issues we have and only gotten "ill move out then you will be happy." its like she doesn't even want to try so why do I even want to continue working my ass off to make us work.

 

So my question i have for you the reader is, should i just tell her OK MOVE OUT make sure that door hits your ass otw out! I wouldn't be happy but maybe its time for me to just move on. She is older then me and we don't have kids so there isn't any reason stopping this from happening.

[Daev]

It sounds like you both have different standards and a different outlook on life - if you can't compromise (which is *vital* in a relationship) then yeah I would consider cutting your losses. It sounds like your basic relationship needs aren't being met - sex, standard of living etc. Does she contribute anything towards the relationship? Part of me feels like you feel she owes you something.. And maybe that's how she feels which might be making her unhappy.

[mistawolf]

It sounds like you both have different standards and a different outlook on life - if you can't compromise (which is *vital* in a relationship) then yeah I would consider cutting your losses. It sounds like your basic relationship needs aren't being met - sex, standard of living etc. Does she contribute anything towards the relationship? Part of me feels like you feel she owes you something.. And maybe that's how she feels which might be making her unhappy.

thanks for your input Daev.

 

She will help when I get aggravated after telling her she needs to do something or at least throw in a helping hand. So i could see where she feels the need to owe me, i feel she should help me not sit there on the computer looking at junk websites like ihazcheazburgers for 4-5 hours while im cleaning, doing dishes, making food. It seems like I'm acting as her parent, and iv met her parents and they are not the type to do everything for there child.

[lovep]

Mistawolf - YES, its time to kick her to the curb. When you saw how she lived and the situation she was accepting to live in, that was your clue. You can see now, that a lot of what she was accepting, was HER fault and NOT 100% her roommates. People do not change over night and if you've clearly told her what needs to change and she hasn't done it, what makes you think she's going to do it next year or ANY years in the future?

 

Again YES, tell her good-bye, good riddens, and don't let the door hitcha where the good Lord splitcha!

[mistawolf]

People do not change over night and if you've clearly told her what needs to change and she hasn't done it, what makes you think she's going to do it next year or ANY years in the future?

 

Thanks for your input.

Ill update ya on whats going on. Shes, agreed to try one last time, I told her she is welcome here but if she will not change her ways she will have to find somewhere else. She has not tried yet or put forth much effort. but she did clean up a mess for me. granted it will probly just go back to the way it was.