Bullied by my entire university class

[thegirl_00]

My university class consists of 30 students. 27 of them are women, including myself. Last year one of the students decided she didn't like me for NO reason. It truly was no reason. Whenever I spoke she would cut me off and talk about something else. Unfortunately she is the "popular" girl of the class and everyone has taken her lead (Ya apparently it is STILL high school). If i say anything, everyone disregards it now, or simply wont respond to me. I am 23 years old and almost everyone is my class is 20.

 

Ugh there is so much more to the story, but basically I am completely alienated in my class now and I only have one friend left. The girl who hates me always tries to get my only friend to go against me too so I feel like it wont be long before I have no one.

 

This has also started to affect my everyday life. I play soccer and I don't talk to anyone there anymore, I volunteer and i avoid most people, even at work my clients have noticed a difference. My confidence is so low. I feel like I am a completely unlikable person and that there must be something wrong with me.

 

I don't know how to deal with this. I have NEVER been bullied in my life and it is a very helpless feeling. I also feel like it is affecting my confidence in school because everyone makes a huge deal if i state my own opinion. I have now become a mute and don't say anything, even when we are supposed to be having discussion in class. I feel at a loss...

[chitown9]

It would seem that the teachers would be aware of this bullying situation. Have you thought about talking to a counselor about this?.....

[Jake]

Popular girls deep down can be very insecure. She picked to beat you down out of everybody because she sub-consciously was most threatened by you. You can't reason with the fearful. It must be something about you (confidence, intelligence, attractiveness, how you carry yourself, ect.) that is making her act that way - you intimidate her. At this point ignoring is an obvious thing to do but it's gotten pretty bad (has the whole class on her side) so I'd take it up a notch and get a counselor involved as chitown9 suggested.

 

Also, I don't mean to offend, but why do you lie about never being bullied before? I thought your username was familiar to me and I remember you had bullying issues about 6 months ago in a different class. Not trying to jab at you. But why the secrecy?

[thegirl_00]

That post was the same bullying situation with the same girl. It has gotten worse.

[thegirl_00]

Popular girls deep down can be very insecure. She picked to beat you down out of everybody because she sub-consciously was most threatened by you. You can't reason with the fearful. It must be something about you (confidence, intelligence, attractiveness, how you carry yourself, ect.) that is making her act that way - you intimidate her. At this point ignoring is an obvious thing to do but it's gotten pretty bad (has the whole class on her side) so I'd take it up a notch and get a counselor involved as chitown9 suggested.

 

Also, I don't mean to offend, but why do you lie about never being bullied before? I thought your username was familiar to me and I remember you had bullying issues about 6 months ago in a different class. Not trying to jab at you. But why the secrecy?

 

Sorry my last post says that this is the same situation that i spoke about in that other post. Its just much worse now and consists of the whole class. Its scary what this woman is capable of. I usually just try to tweek my posts so the dont give too enough personal information.

 

Anyways, Im afraid to talk to a counsellor at my school because although this girls grades are not good, she is very involved with the school and is a loud mouth who decides that whatever she says is right and everyone follows her lead because they are afraid of the consequences.

[Jake]

I take my hat off to you. I would have snapped by now. What steps have you taken since then? Are your two friends still with you?

 

My 2 cents, when she cuts you off be firm but polite and say, "excuse me but I wasn't done with what I was trying to say." If she retorts back with a comment ignore her and finish telling the teacher/class what you had to say.

[Jake]

My apologies, I just noticed now that you have one friend. Okay, I will try to put this simply. This young lady is using a combination of two things. Intimidation (loudest and most opinionated person in the class) and she is manipulation by getting everybody on her side (does she often have everyone agreeing with her?). In short, classic moves of a bully. She's getting everybody on her side and she is taking over while she's doing it. The most popular people are the best at spoon feeding lies and deceiving everyone. Call her out on it. Call her out when she cuts you off, puts you down and does anything towards you that a mature adult wouldn't do. Basically, once she realizes you're on to her little game - she'll cave. You become unconquerable and she'll stay far away from you. No more problems.

[sidehop]

Sounds like a very narcissistic individual if anything display a bit of sociopath behavior. She probably sees you as a competition and will do anything to gain attention all to herself which will including fabricating stories and lies in order to alienate your friends. I know it would be hard to stay away but be strong and don't let her and so-called friends get to you.

 

Sooner or later people will find out how fake she is and start to ditch her. It's just a matter of time.

[WhenWillILove]

Whenever she speaks to you, don't take her opinion seriously. Don't show her you are interested in what she has to say. Simply nod your head, do a careless aha, and then say, got to go. Act like you are listening to a boring lecturer. Look other ways, look at the ground, past her, and when you do look at her, do a sigh like you are tired of just standing there and listening to her. Don't make friends with your classmates, or those that side with her. That would show them that you want their attention, that their opinion matters and so on. Simply leave after class, don't talk to anyone and find other friends outside of your classes.

Let me ask you- are you getting high grades? Giving great answers in class? Are you very attractive? Maybe have a great body? Like others have said, there has to be something she's envious of.

[TheVP]

Do you do anything that attracts such attention to yourself? Raising your hand too much in class? Wear a furry coat in summer?

 

I'm sure almost everyone has been bullied some time in their life time. I totally was back when I was in high school, although it seems odd to hear of bullying taking place in college like this. My experience has been that bullies are typically cowards when they are by themselves. So you'll might want to confront her sometime when you see her entering the bathroom by herself. Then you can decide the approach that you take towards here.

[thegirl_00]

Do you do anything that attracts such attention to yourself? Raising your hand too much in class? Wear a furry coat in summer?

 

I'm sure almost everyone has been bullied some time in their life time. I totally was back when I was in high school, although it seems odd to hear of bullying taking place in college like this. My experience has been that bullies are typically cowards when they are by themselves. So you'll might want to confront her sometime when you see her entering the bathroom by herself. Then you can decide the approach that you take towards here.

 

I don't do anything that attracts too much attention. I actually never answer questions in class and my grades are a tiny bit above average. People tell me I am pretty and I am quite thin and play a lot of sports. Also I am in the third year of nursing now, but I entered a new class last year. So i was the "new girl" and became friends with almost everyone very fast. She might have been very intimidated by that so she started rumors about me. Well I guess she won, because now I have no friends at all.

 

Also. I thought about confronting her, but I feel like this has been going on for so long now that it might seem very bizarre at this point if i approach her.

[thegirl_00]

I hope my above post responds to your questions as well.

I have been completely ignoring her. But it isn't making things any better because now the whole class acts like I don't exist besides for my one friend. At this point she has won the game and could care less what my opinion is of her anyways.

[Angel Irulan]

Check out link removed it's a British website about bullying and serial bullying in particular. Where are you? I! PM me please! There are laws to protect you from certain types of bullying. Also, your school dean should hear about this. Whatever you do DO NOT FIGHT WITH HER! That's how she wins, she says something that gets under your skin so much you respond and then she turns it around on you by saying....look I told you that is how she is! Don't fall for it!