how am i going to get over this girl.

[lonely racer]

Here's my story, I met this girl few years ago she was amazing everything i've ever dreamed of, we hit it off right from the start. We started dating even thou she was moving to LA, once she moved things got serious we did the whole long distance thing for about 8 months and we broke up for the first time due to family differeces and religion. After a year of being apart she moved back home with in days we started dating again slowly things started getting more serious things we're going great 5 months later the religion issue came back but we worked thru it and things were normal with in a few days. about 6 months later it came up again but this time we broke up for 3 months, we ended getting back together and things were better than ever we both were really happy, she even told me she never wanted to lose me and that she can never see herself with anyone but me, next thing you know she goes and visits her family back in la and she come's home and wants to end it she tell's me that a friend of her's from her childhood emailed her wishing her a happe y birthday and asked her on a date, she tell's me she would like to try it out and see where it goes as they share the same culture and religion, so after 4 months we break up again.

 

It's been a little over month since we broke up for the first 2 weeks i was an * * * * * * * and i also tried to prevent the break up but it did'nt work she pretty much jumped into a new relationship with the new guy.for the last 2 and half weeks i've been doing no contact till today when i failed and sent her a msg from the way she made it sound life's great everything is going great with her new boyfriend and than there's me who's been dealing with heartache because i miss my best friend

[Mustachio]

Well I think if you stop and take a step back from your situation you will see that you are pining over a relationship that has failed multiple times. Sure, when you are together things might be great, but you have broken up what, three times now? There are clearly some fundamental differences that would make a relationship next to impossible (as has been evidenced by the multiple breakups).

 

So let me ask you, how did you deal with the other breakups?

 

Also, you seem very focused on the past, but not so much on the future, your future... a future without her. Take up some hobbies, spend time with friends. Just try and take your mind off things while letting your emotions run their course. Youll do fine, you spent a year apart and then another breakup, im sure you can do it again.

[lonely racer]

The other time's we broke up were tough, I never stopped thinking about her. I would meet new girls and i'd have to end what ever started due to it not being fair because i had this girl on my mind, I even at one point looked into converting to her religion as i've never really been religious and I appreciated her religion and thought maybe it'd help us work things out.

 

I have hobbies and you know what even they dont help getting her off my mind, I even took a road trip this weekend to get out and clear my mind and watch some racing which i love but all i could think about while at the track was her, I had a girl even pick me up later at the bar and I couldnt even talk to her, I apologized and walked away cause all i could think of was my ex.

 

I know this is'nt good for me and I know I need to find a way to get over it because it's just gonna be a pattern if i let her come back into my life over and over, I just wish she could accept me for who I was and tried as hard as I have been trying.

 

Also I try and focus on the future and tell myself everyday that there's more for me out there and that one day i'll find the right person for me.

[Mustachio]

Do all those things, but also stop and remember... its only been a month. Time is the great healer. If you give yourself the time, and do what you can to occupy yourself in the meantime, it will get better.

[lonely racer]

Thank you Sir!! I've decided that I'm gonna take her off the pedestal, and stop dwelling on the past and concentrate on my future and myself. I'm starting a new project that should keep busy all winter and give me lot's of enjoyment in the warmer months.

 

Thanks again for all the advice, I really do appreciate it!!