Any tips on how to accept your friends/lovers flaws and all!

[CookieMonster8]

GOOD MORNING eNotAlone!!!!!!!!

 

Just curious if any of you had any tips on how to accept flaws in the people you love whether that be a friend or in a relationship? By flaws I mean personality traits that are unchangeable.

 

Thanks in advance for your responses!

[CookieMonster8]

I love this so much! So true. Thank you so much for posting this!! Love it.

[LaKings55]

It's admirable to say "what can I do?" but in a relationship, everyone must be willing to ask that question. Is your partner accepting of you? Are they constantly criticizing you? A relationship works both ways, and unless both persons' needs are being met, it will fail.

[CookieMonster8]

FathomFear: Have you been able to apply this to your life as well? Seems totally relatable.

 

None the less I'll always be sad to let go of my fairytale dreams of the perfect guy and the perfect relationship and the perfect feelings! As well as friends who are always true, always there, etc

The only guarantee in life is change and there is no such thing as perfect anything.

[thejigsup]

I have had two perfect friends most of my life. They have never NOT been there for me and vice versa. We accept each other totally and always have each others' backs. We have been friends for over 30 years, so I know perfect friendships DO happen. The perfect guy? I'm not perfect so if he accepts my little faults, I am more than happy to acccept his. The only things I will not tolerate are smoking, drinking, drugs, or physical abuse. Lying about big things is in there, also. Anything else is negotiable.

[LaKings55]

Smoking, drugs, physical abuse, lying, are all good deal breakers to have. Do you mean drinking in excess? Being a drunk? Or does it include the occasional drink?

[thejigsup]

I was raised in a home where my father was an abusive alcoholic. I drink very seldom, if at all. Say, once or twice a year I will have a glass of wine. I never tell anyone they can't drink, that is controlling, but I let people know I despise the smell of alcohol and I hate what it does to people. Most of my relationships in the last twenty years have been with nondrinkers.

[LaKings55]

Interesting, and very healthy. I probably average a drink a week, but then again, I enjoy clubs, bars, socializing in those places, etc. However, I've never really been around alcoholics, and was raised with the "European" view of things, which doesn't hold alcohol in the forbidden fruit light. So, I look it as a social thing. I also have friends who smoke hookah (flavored, water-pipe tobacco) and enjoy that as well. I'll have the occasional cigarette too, maybe a few a year. Moderation for me, is the key to enjoyable life. But, different strokes. I completely understand your view on alcohol though, if abused it can be disastrous for the user and those around them. In terms of overall health though, you can't go wrong with avoiding drugs, tobacco, etc.

[pl3asehelp]

I have a great tip. Either accept your partners faults and all, or resign yourself to a life a loneliness, becausenobody is perfect.

[CookieMonster8]

I have a great tip. Either accept your partners faults and all, or resign yourself to a life a loneliness, becausenobody is perfect.

 

Agreed. Thx for the honesty!