tobias13 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I am putting my whole story in one now upto present day as it is important to me to keep it all together for better understanding. Hi Guys, Never posted on this before but i have followed this thread and i have been applying NC for the past week. Here is my story, i am 20 years old and my ex is 19 .. we where in a very loving relationship for a year and a half, always together eveyday because we were students we had plenty of time to spend with each other outwith university and work commitments. So she breaks up with me 2 months ago by saying that ou problems are ones which just wont go away ( these problems were girls that were freinds of mine contacting me and my ex was very protective of me in that way and jealous) and she goes off on holiday with friends.. while she is away i create a book of memories for her that shows that the good times certainly outweighed the bad times.. any ways when she came back she loved the book but still didnt want to try again.. i went into a bit of panic mode then and told her all the wrong things such as i would change and stuff .. this went on for a couple of weeks then i wrote her a letter apologising for anything i had ever done to hurt her and that i cetainly never intentionally hurt her, Fast forward to 3 weeks ago .. one of the friends of mine that was a girl she didnt like contacted me on facebook and i instantly got a text from my ex saying "oh look at you two getting close etc" i ignored this text because she let me go and had to deal with me talking to other girls now. that weekend after the text she was out in the same club as me and got very drunk .. she hovered around me alot and even tried to kiss me, i felt this wasnt right as she was drunk and it would only confuse things furthur.. next she sees the very girl that contacted me and she goes and confronts her and tells her to stay away from me, she also tells a mutual friend she still loves and misses me, later on that night she texts me asking if we can talk so i leave the club and she asks back to my place .. i take her but its only to talk .. she falls asleep and i let her stay but i sleep on the couch.. next day she tuns back into her cold ways saying how much it was a mistake and she wants to be friends. now this is where i initiated no contact as i seen a guy who was contacting her a week before we finished started coming onto the scene so i was a bit wary and after reading this thread i felt theres nothing i can do and that it is probably a ebound relationship as he isnt the geatest looking and seems nothing like me, i didnt contact her about it as it isnt my business but she went out to lunch with a mutual friend and told her that she wasnt interested in anyone and just wanted her friends at this moment in time which my friend believed her. Also it was her that brought me up at the lunch and my friend highlighted this too her that not even 2 minutes in and i was the subject of conversation then next day she has photos of his wee nephew on her facebook so i recently unsubscibed to her so i dont see what she is upto .. but the same mutual friend told me she has recently posted on facebook things such as "please mind stop thinking about stuff and let me sleep" and also stuff like whats for you wont go by you. things that get my mind running but i feel alot stonger and i am only focused on my happiness now because you cannot win someone back unless you have won yourself back first that i have learned and i know now that if we got back instantly the same problems would have been there so i am staying upbeat as i feel this rebound if it is will certainly work in my favour. even just last night i was out in my car with my mutual girlfriend and past he brother in the car.. he must of told my ex because she then contacted my mutual friend and asked her what she was upto.. i also got my facebook hacked into and messages sent to my ex.. the only peson that would know my password would be my ex.. people tell me she isnt completely over me just by the way she is acting but something is stopping us being together.. also they say if anything does happen with this other guy then its doomed from the start as she is keeping it quiet to everyone and i dont feel people like to be hidden away if they are meant to be in a relationship .. i feel she is still too interested in what im doing to be focussed on anything else and i havent spoke to her for a week which is the longest we have ever went without talking. can anyone please give me advice on what is going on here ? im soo confused at what is going on with her and therefore going NC to prevent me from making a mistake and also hoping that my own situation runs the same course as the other success stories on this thread.. some amazing advice on this and i am very grateful to everyone who has contributed as it has kept me going some days thought i would keep those interested an updated pat of the story ... last night we were at the same club again .. she wasnt meant to be going out my mutual friend said but she ended up out anyway maybe knowing i would be there i dont know ? .. well when i was dancing with my friends she would always be around dancing with her friends from time to time, also at the end when a more sadder song came on i caught her staring at me more than once so i stared back at her and we gazed at each other for a few seconds, it was strange i know there could be another guy now but he is probably just a rebound .. at the end she even made a point to say bye to me before i left and also texted me to see if i got home ok .. i didnt reply until this mornin with haha yeah i got in ok thanks x ... this story for me just gets more and more confusing and thats where i appreciate the people on this that help me here ! very grateful lol ... anyways what do you think is happening here ?.. is my NC working and these things point to her missing me or caing for me alot but i cant grasp that if there is someone else that she is keeping secret from everyone as i said in my first post this guy really isnt anything on me but i dont know .. im soo confused haha ! got a text today from her saying .. " just met your mum haha!x " dont really know how to take this but i just texted friendly but kinda kept the conversation to a minimum .... she kinda kept the conversation up and then i kinda stopped it .. trying to show im not always there to talk to these days especially if there is someone else ... but i dont understand her ? That is just the background story for anyone who needed any more insight below is the recent events that have got me thinking about her warming up to me ... *UPDATE* well it started on friday and she showed up at a halloween party at this club i am always at, she knows i will be there.. anyway i didnt speak to her at all that night and went and had a blast was great to feel that she wasnt affecting me by her being there, i could see i bothered her.. because as i was dancing about and having fun with my friends, she was sitting with two of her girl friends then she left the club very early in a bit of a mood, dont know what it is about... didnt see her the rest of the weekend and last night i was out with a mutual friend which is a girl ( she is closer to me than my ex and they met through me). there has always been a rumour of her seeing a rebound, i know this is a rebound because if you read my orginal story you will find she has still been interfering with my life etc post breakup... and also she has kept him a secret so he must feel soo special haha ! but i am not focussed on that i am focussed on me. well my ex texted this friend of mine saying .. Miss you and then continued to tell my friend that she was soo confused and everything was getting to her etc.. while she was texting my friend this she texted me to ask how i was and stuff, i didnt text her back for a few hours and by this point she must of been sleeping. well anyway i woke up with a text from her this morning and she hasnt stopped texting me since ! i have been funny and upbeat and not bringing up any stresses we had in the past because i have learned that old relationship is done and i need to focus on a new relationship if i want her back! i do want her back but i just needed advice on this situation i dont want to blow it or anything ? is this positive steps or am i being used or what not it has knocked me a bit confused when i have been doing soo well.. i have got myself back and been improving and improving while being in NIC with my ex. *UPDATE* well me and her have been texting since monday, she texts me until she falls asleep at night and i make her laugh and sometimes the convo is playfully flirtacious, she initiates every conversation as i am still NIC until i get a better insight into what is happening here ... its confusing i dont know what to think ? im playing it cool and stuff and i do want her back but i dont need her back ! im more confident and am out having fun but after speaking to other girls etc i have came to realise it is her i want right now and i dont know what she is doing here and would really love help Thank you to all those kind people that reply ! i dont want to mess this up !!! 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