is it fate or what

[rosie smith]

so after all this time of NC, finally telling my ex that I am finished with him (due to the fact that he has a secret girlfriend)

 

i saw him again last night, in the past three weeks may be I have seen him a lot and I kind of do wonder why after all of this time of us not seeing each other why now??

 

he was on his own again last night. I did offer to give him some money I owed him and he declined but then stupidly I came out with do you want me to buy you a drink, don't ask me why I said such a stupid thing

 

anyway he was about to come out with I thought we were going our separate ways for now but stopped himself and just said no thanks

 

I guess my thing is that may be I need to stop being so nice if I bump into him again, may be I just need to say hi and walk away??

 

Don't get me wrong he is fine to talk to me and even if he does notice that he is starting to loose his temper round me when we have seen each other he always says sorry and realises that all of this is now his issues to deal with. Some times I guess he will go into crazy mood and other times he won't.

 

a part of me does just think when he pops round to drop a wardrobe off he has been wanting to for ages, I should say something like oh was the girl I saw outside your place?? He does not need to know that I have been through his skype messages. May be at least that way he will know however much I have apparently hurt him he has also done the same to me. Or is that me still being to nice to him and I really don't wanna show him I care about the fact that he has screwing someone else, even when he swore to me in tears and everything he was gonna get help for himself and wanted to get to know me again!!

 

or can you really not say anything in this sort of situation, cause sometimes as well It does worry that even though I think my ex cares to an extentant may be he just can't spend time with me cause it just makes him feel something for me again, as crazy as it sounds I can still remember a while ago when we had split and still living together the same excuse or reasoning was made in terms of us having sex!!

 

don't get me wrong I know I have done the right thing by ending things with him cause he would not of done and sometimes I wonder well did he never end things even when I asked him to over a text and so many times cause he was a wimp or is everyone right on here where he just couldn't let go for some reason or another

 

anyway I guess I am just looking for some guidance really do I just not say anything to him on sunday and just carry on living my life with NC

 

cause NC is easy for me today, is the rest of the crap I dunno can I really just ingore it, after 8 years of no hassle with the guy things have just got really bad, in terms of this situation with us

 

and when I do see him stop being so nice I (ARGH WHY AM I SEEING HIM SO MUCH AFTER ALL THIS TIME ANYWAY AND I JUST MEAN THIS IN THE SENSE WHERE HE IS CLUELESS AS TO HOW HE MIGHT OF HURT ME, HE ONLY SEES WHAT I HAVE DONE TO HIM)

 

or do I really have little choice where may be I just need to confront the issue now, cause as much I am not gonna think oh my ex and I are ever gonna talk again or anything like that

 

what annoys me is that I don't think he realises that I might end up with someone else to now, that I have also been hurt even when I put on my happy face and even though yup he does not need to know any of this and I could just ingore the situion may be the only way to resolve anything now is for me to say look this is what I know you have been up to recently and just come out with everything and don't let him answer me and walk away.

 

May be I should add that when I told my ex to move on he said that he agrees we should go our separate ways for now so I dunno if that means anything or if he is just really saying the same thing as me (may be I should not of said the bit about if he wants to call one day he can do I just can't promise I will be there for him though)

 

either way is is just time to ingore everything that has happened with us and just be a bit harsh I guess with him on sunday or do I just need to say how I feel, cause if my ex is gonna try and avoid me like the plague for the rest of his (may be he won't but you know what I mean) I should just say this is what a bleep , bleep , bleep you have to been to me. After all this time I desereved more, see ya??? What annoys me the most I guess about all this is my ex was never a cheat or a liar and then when I get from my family how they feel like I have been replaced by this other women may be they are right and if that is the case do I just need to keep my mouth shut??

 

ps, just an after thought but before anyone says oh but if he cares he would meet you for a drink my ex has been saying for ages now he wanted time on his own to sort himself but after two and bit months of that and him still sleeping with this girl and never knowing if he is that screwed up in the head, then again from his actions towards me he prob is.

 

I dunno though is just the right thing to do now, that I just do not to say anything else and if I do see him again or should I say when (I can handle seeing my ex) I have just been thinking may be I need to stop being so nice to him??

 

normally if another guy had just gone off and done this sort of thing to me then it would of just been a simple case of forget about it they are not worth it but after my ex has made me feel crap about past mistake and may be now feels like that cause I have dumped him he need not feel about seeing this women as and when it suits him, he really knows what the truth is)

 

I guess the thing is that after my ex, being a man and if I done all of this to him he would of killed me by now and here I am just having dumped the guy, should of done it ages ago, but either way is it just gonna be a better outcome for me just not to say anything and if he realises what he lost or anything in the future I deal with things or a guy like him never really gonna think about what he has done and just be caught up in his own stupid in which case may be I should say something, even if it just to make him feel bad??

[Mesemene]

I guess my thing is that may be I need to stop being so nice if I bump into him again, may be I just need to say hi and walk away??

 

Yes.

 

If you cross paths, just be as civil and pleasant as you would to someone you barely know, but are being decent to.

 

A nod, a hello or c'ya, nothing more.

 

Think of it this way - the way he's acted, he might as well be a stranger to you. He doesn't deserve any better treatment than that.

 

And honey - stop spending soooo much time thinking about what he might think, do, be doing, be thinking!!! Spend that time thinking about what lovely things you'd like to do for yourself or your family who's been there for you this week, this month.

 

Bake something for dad? Make homemade bath salts for sis or candles? There's a ton of possibilities - and it'll give you something new to focus on, too

[rosie smith]

you are right and to be honest the sooner I get the rest of my things back the better you know, I was fine two months ago believe it or not just these past few days have drained the hell out of my family and I, they really have

 

I can't actually believe that I got so many texts yesterday just about a tv.

 

I almost feel like whilst my ex is crying out for help and I am just trying to ignore It is just dragging me down, but as I said to my mum may be me seeing him over the past couple of weeks etc etc was all meant to happen for a reason may be I was meant to be strong enough to end things with us and walk away with my head held high whilst he is just going on a destructive path, who really knows only time will tell how things will play out now, but for the mean time I know I will heal again once this week is over cause I won't get the stress of my ex having to text me anymore, it is not like this new girl would let him anyway

 

to think I actually thought my life was getting better but as I said may be just things had to come to an end like this so I could finally have the life I deserve.

[flow90]

rosie u have to delete some messages in your inbox, cos its not letting me private message u!