Biggest decision of my life tonight...Finally breakin the NC

[TheDoctor]

Hey friends! You all know my story by now. My ex of 1 1/2 years was with me and she wasnt over her ex and she totally messed me over one day and we got into a fight over the fact she wasnt gettin over him and just mutually broke it off in a fight fashion. Meaning we didnt say ok u do ur thing ill do mine it was more of chanting and raving. The worst part is since our breakup we havent spoken nearly 6 months now ( wow how it goes by so fast..yet so slow huh?). Ive been on this forum since the 2nd month of my NC breakup! And you know what I realized today? I am ready, to talk to her. I have questions to ask. Like why she broke up and blamed this girl that had absolutley nothing to do with our breakup over this whole mess, and why shes so bitter at me yet worships her ex who messed her over. I have alot of questions I just want to get out and get over this. Its been 6 months and this is bothering me and I AM READY to finally be the bigger man and talk to her. But Im sure of this if anything? I dont want her back, I dont want to talk to her much afterwards, I just want 1 convo and thats it. Tonight, my life changes forever I believe........Wish me luck, Ill tell you all how it goes!

[Michael2]

Why do you want to opne a can of emotional worms.

 

No good will come from this guaranteed.

 

You both broke things off ( but remember girls wont break up or agree to break up till they have someone waiting) on top of that you could be dead because she never even called; yet for some reason you want to call her.

 

Move on. You may hear things which will bring you right back to sqquare one.

[TheDoctor]

I dont want her back, I just have questions. Thats all.....

[CarterJonas]

Hey, best of luck and let us know how you get along,

 

I'm roughly in the same situation as you with regards to the length of the breakup and having no contact at all since that day. I also do not want her back; but I also know I will not get any closure to this, by far longest and most serious relationship of my life.

 

goodluck and hope you get the answers you want.

[Michael2]

If the situation was dead, then you would feel no need to call her.

 

Just be careful that is all. I have been there, and things didnt turn out the way I wished; and in the end, the pain came right back.

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Six months? Why do you want answers to these questions? Why not before? If you care about these answers, then you still care about where you stand with her.

 

People who don't care after 6 months don't call their ex's back. You two were both playing this big game of avoidance. And now you're goning to bite the bulett. But for what? Tell us what questions you need answered? What questions that are so important that you are going to break 6 months of no contact? Tell them to us. I think then we'll see your true motives.

[TheDoctor]

Ok some of my questions are, why she holds such animosity against me when I didnt do anything to her. Why she went and spread rumors that I was such a terrible guy and to stay away from me when I was the opposite to her. Why she blamed a girl that had ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING to do with our breakup for all our problems. Now do you see my motives?

[Michael2]

The answers to your questions will only cause more questions to be asked.

 

You do not need these answers, but if you have to then go ahead.

[AwsomeDude]

Good luck doctor !

but becareful, girls know exactly where to hit, and they can hurt so bad !

so if u dont really need to ask her u better forget abotu the whole thing man !

for ur sake not for her !

best wishes !

[chai714]

Doc - Don't play with fire unless you want to get burned. It really doesn't matter why the breakup anymore, because it's in the past. You're focusing on the past, and these questions you're going to ask her will no doubt put her on the defensive! Why do you want to talk to her? Do you want her back? If so, you're going about this the wrong way. Even if you want just a friendship, this is still the wrong way. A light, positive conversation would be much more effective - no relationship talk, and no pressure on her would be much better.

[ReadyorNot]

I thought GUYS were the ones who knew where to hit..... I would never hurt my bf like that.... he just does it to me!

 

I wouldnt call after 6 months either.... My LAST bf and I decided no contact... it was my choice.. and he begged me to still be his friend... but finally one day he must have decided to give me what I wanted..... At first it was the best thing I could have EVER done for myself..... I wouldnt have gotten over him if we were still friends.... I know it..... Obviously a year later then I met my current bf and got over the old one I wish I could just say hello and see how he is...

 

There is NO WAY I would call after 6 months to start asking questions.... YIKES! That would also be so embarrassing.. to let the other know that you are still wasting away thinking about the breakup....

 

My current bf and I are going threw some problems and I told him we werent going to be friends if we broke up... he was upset about that and I AM AFRAID that is why he decided not to break up with me (he told me he was thinking maybe we should breakup)... I think I have decided we should be friends... he is my BEST friend.... It might not be so hard this time around cause he is very unsure if he wants to get married and have kids... so I would be able to find someone who does... and after a little while I will be happy I am not with the current ex.

[TheDoctor]

Just be the bigger person, who cares if its embaressing. Look at how mine went, she asked to see me and she was competley mature about it because she sensed my maturity. I dont care if im still thinking about it. If you never talk to someone ever after a sudden breakup and you truly loved them you cant just forget. I got over the love thing but I cant forget and she admitted she couldnt either. I respect what you say but if your confident and strong enough those things bounce off you.