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Looking for advice. (This is a long post)


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A little bit about myself I had been in a relationship before for around 5+ years and we were engaged for 1 year. The relationship had fallen apart and I felt crushed. I hadn't nor did I want to even think about starting another relationship and was generally happy being single.


As a result from the break up I kind of sucked up all my emotions and lost all my self-esteem. Taking advice from some friends I tried dating again during the time from the break up until now. I basically felt like the typical young teen I was so intimidated that I'd forget how to talk to women. I would not even know how to keep a conversation going it was so frustrating that I'd basically given up ever finding love again.


Recently I've re-connected with an old friend of mine. She had told me that her sister was interested in getting together and that she thought I was cute. I was somewhat excited to hear this and gladly accepted the offer to go out. The date was typical of what I had experienced in the past I'd close up and not be able to express myself and couldn't keep any conversation going. I felt the whole time like I was wasting her time after she had expressed some sort of interest in me. After I dropped her off at her home she had left the my car with only a "I had a good time." and a "goodbye". I felt crushed again due to my inability to express myself.


After I had gotten home I was waiting for the typical lets be friends message. However the next morning I was surprised with next couple of text messages she had left me. She stated that she had a great time, that she was very shy and she will come around eventually, and that she thought I was very cute she also looks forward to our next date.


My question:

With the apparent success of our first get together the thing that worries me the most is keeping her interest and actually going from the dating step to a relationship. What are some ways that I can break open my shell and how can I get over my fear of rejection. Also I'd like to get advice from others who may have similar problems as me.

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Hahaha! Yes, Alcohol does help! But in all seriousness, I am where you are now. I have been single for 4 years because I have been to sh*t scared to get back out there after my ex and I broke up. I recently met someone and was seeing him for all of 5 weeks but again, major communication breakdown (and he wasn't exactly what I was looking for).


I wish I had the answer to coming out of our shells, I think the only way we can do this is to get out there more and get practice?! Anyway, all you can do is be yourself and if it comes up, be honest about why you are a little more reserved and let her know that in time, when you are comfortable, she will see another side of you. If she is the right one, she will be patient with you.

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