PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY FEMALE FRIEND IT HURTS A LOT!!!!!!!!!

[lord_macnaughton]

I am currently 16 years old and in my junior year of highschool. Two years ago I began highschool as a pathetic freshman, didn't talk to anyone, didn't do anything and terribly fat! There was this girl, who was simply beautiful, in spirit and body. She was kind to me even though she didn't know her. So I vowed to become her friend and get to know her as well as I could. So I did, but what is more profound is that I began to change to a much happier person. I lost tons of weight, began caring what I looked like, and even became one of the most popular guys in class. My friendship with this female continued to develope as we spent more time with each other. At some point I began to develope feelings for her, strong feelings. So I casualy inquired as to her relationship status. It turns out she was dating your common pot-head (Her words not mine!) who would later drop out of highschool. Anyways here we are in junior year and I still have feelings for her even though I know she is dating someone else. We are great friends but I want more. Not that I want her to break up with her drug addict because of me. I just want her to be happy. Sometimes when I call he will be at her house and she will lie and tell me he is not there, Why would she do this? Any way I want to be happy to, I haven't told her how I feel because I am a coward, and I fear for my friendship with her. Mabey I need to get over her but I don't know How and it hurts!!! Lately it seems she has been telling me less about her life, is she keeping something from me, why can't I just end my feelings. I wish we could be together, or I could move on, not wait forever, yet still I think I love her! I'm not sure of anything anymore

HELP ME PLEASE!!! Please Write Something ANYTHING

[Zipp]

Cheer up friend. I think you should tell her how you feel and even if she doesn't return your feelings, at least you tried. She sounds like a nice girl but maybe not with the best taste in boyfriends. She may hide things from you that she feels are embarrassing or awkward to discuss. If that's how she described her boyfriend I can't see their relationship lasting very long. If you are in love it's a good and a bad thing. I'm sure most people on this site can tell you it has it's ups and downs and doesn't always work out. All you can do is take a chance, just like the rest of us.

[aireyc]

Hey man, I just say stick in there for now. If another girl comes along and you're attracted to her, I'd go that route. However, if this girl does turn around and you have a clear shot, I say go for it. I know how it hurts, but there really isn't anything you can do other than remain her friend and be there for her if she needs stuff.

 

Chris

[lord_macnaughton]

Thanks guys, but I still feel pretty frustrated, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to ask her out. Especially if she is dating someone else, Its such a moral issue. I want to continue being her friend, but like I said it is slowly killing me from within.

[john q]

man im in the same position as you. i was best friends with this girl for about 4 years, and just this summer i started to have very strong feelings for her. it was weird though, cause i mean i never felt that way towards her before. anyway, every time i saw her it seemed like i liked her even more. i know she didnt feel the same way about me, which is why i never told her how i felt. as of right now i still havent told her, and its just worst feeling in the world. what makes it worse is the fact that it seems like we're growing apart; we used to talk ALL the time (we used to stay up till like 4 am talking) and we'd hang out pretty much every day. However, recently she just really seems annoyed with me; she never calls anymore, and basically shes just completely ignored me. i just really dont know what to do or say. i care about her so much, and our friendship means everything in the world to me.

 

in your situation, i would definitely wait till she breaks up with her boyfriend to even consider telling her how you feel. from the looks of it, you wont have to wait very long. when they do break up, its gonna be your call on whether or not to express your feelings to her. i know it'll be really tough, but just hang in there and be the best friend that you can to her. (this is coming from a guy who's just as confused as you are )

[lord_macnaughton]

What do you guys think I should do, tell her how I feel about her even though she has a boyfriend, one whom she has been dating for a year now. Or wait and continue being friends. Perhaps if I told her she would be aware she had another option. I don't want to be second best though! Or If I told her she might resent me, or think I was trying to control her. I just want her to know! And I want to preserve our friendship!!! It seems to me that nobody here has any idea what I should do either. Please any sugestions are welcome.

[lord_macnaughton]

I sometimes wonder why guys fall for their best female friend. Or vice versa, any theories anyone, cause I'm simply at a loss as to why I feel this way about what is just another woman. I'm also a head over heart sort of guy and can't stand not being in control of my own emotions.

 

So the question is why and at the same time how?