Mnich1209 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I've been seeing this guy for 2 months and things started out really great for us. I would spend the night at his house 2x's out the week and we would just share a lot of intimate moments together. He holds me all through the night and calls me bae and babe! Lately, I've been texting and calling and he has been slow in responding. We haven't "slept" together in 3 wks. But I've been spending the night with him. I asked him was there a problem or was anything wrong and all he could say is, "I just got alot on my mind right now and I'm going through some things. I asked was there anything that I could do to help and he says no I gotta be the one to work this out! I'm confused and getting mixed feelings from him. Link to comment
jjcool00 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Hate to say it, sounds like he's losing interest for whatever reason it may be. Could genuinely be that he has a lot on his mind but you should explore it, ask him what specifically is bothering him. Sit him down and talk to him because more likely than not he is contemplating cutting ties. Link to comment
Rose30 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 He might feel like things moved too quickly because you were spending the night together in the first month, and he might be pulling back a bit, it might be a good idea for you to give him some space which might rekindle the flame. Don't always be the one to call and text, let him come to you sometimes and don't spend the night for a week or two and see how that goes. Make plans, be busy with your own life, and if he is really stressed out about things that will give him time and space to work out what ever it is he needs to work out and he will appreciate the fact that you're independent and able to give him the space he needs. Good luck Link to comment
sidehop Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 If he can't give you a clear answer then the answer is more clear. He's not that into you unfortunately. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 If he can't give you a clear answer then the answer is more clear. He's not that into you unfortunately. ulk, isn't that the truth?! unless he is working on a project for the CIA or the iPhone 6, no reason he can't just say what's going on that's bothering him - unless it's the relationship. i'd back off at this point. if he doesn't contact in a week or two, i'd consider it over. Link to comment
snippot Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 How long was he out of his last relationship? 2-3 months is the kill-zone for exes to reappear. Do you know how/when/why his last relatoinship ended. This may have nothing to do with you, so do not take it personally. The EX factor can be quite impelling, no matter how great the new person is. Link to comment
Ocean of Blue Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I've said that before to a girl and it's when I have lost interest in her.... sadly enough. best thing you can do as one of the previous replies suggested - back off. Link to comment
Imthatguy Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 For me if I stop having sex in a relationship its typical that I will stop being in said relationship. Link to comment
Voguester Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 I'm not saying I believe this but do you any of you think the guy deserves his privacy and he can talk to her about his problems if he wishes? otherwise should she just be there to support him anyway? Link to comment
Mnich1209 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Well, after not contacting me for three whole days, he finally replies to my texts and ask why do I feel like he has hurt me and my response was-you have ignored my calls and texts and you won't give me an explanation as to why our relationship has gone dry. He told me that he is really going thru alot and that I wouldn't understand it and that he wants to get himself back on track. I forgot to mention that he was in prison for 1 yr and he has been out now for 2 months. I asked him if it was someone else but he insist that there is no one else. So I ask, what do you want me to do while you're "getting yourself back on track" and he says well I can't tell you what to do. So on that note, I took upon myself to just let go and try to move on. I have been there for him since he has been out-he's already got a job (with my help) and I've also been there for him at 3:30 a.m when he was having some really bad personal problems, he cried to me and confided alot of things to me. I really just don't understand it!!!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 it sounds like he is not in position to be in a relationship right now - especially with the jail thing and all, i can see why he wants to get his life on track (that is commendable!) i'd let him go and move on... Link to comment
Mnich1209 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 Yea I've made up in my mind that I'm just going to let go! It hurts really bad because I developed some deep feelings for him in that short period of time. I guess you win some and lose some-I lost this one! Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Not to sound snotty or snobbish, but "losing" a guy with a criminal record is not much of a loss at all. Link to comment
Mnich1209 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 I know it's not but he is a really great guy and just got caught up with the wrong person--this was his first time ever getting in trouble because before this he was a hardworking fella who stayed out of trouble. He was allowed a second chance. Link to comment
Mnich1209 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 Ok so now what do I do----He called me yesterday wanting to talk. We talked about our situation and he wants me to come over to his house tonight so that we can talk some more. I don't know what to do...Should I go or just count my loss and just move on? Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 what did you guys discuss on the phone? what was the conclusion of that talk? Link to comment
Mnich1209 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Well we talked about why he hasn't been contacting me.....and he still continues to say that he has alot going on right now and that I shouldn't be hurt because he's not contacting me. He also asked me who was the guy on my facebook page that I was talking back and forth to---the guy is my classmate. He continues to say "we're good, stop worrying!" The conclusion of the talk---he asked me what I was gonna be doing the next day and asked if I could come over, but I declined because I don't want him to be turning me off and on, so I chose not to go over to his house. He has not contacted me since, but he continuously check my facebook page and asks his female cousin, whom I friends with, questions about what I have on my page. So I have not try to contact him since last Wednesday when we talked. I still have feelings for him and would love for him to get his act together but I'm not gonna sit and wait for it. I actually went on a date with someone this past weekend and went well. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I would honestly move on. Good that you went on that date! Ok, I get that he is busy and has to get his life together. good for him, but as you point out, there's no reason for you to sit around and wait. Link to comment
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