When dumpers leave for someone else, do they have to deal with the pain, too?

[Sookie]

I'm just wondering and posted this in another thread and thought it would be the best to open my own thread... do you think when someone leaves you for someone else, do the dumpers have to deal with the pain of the break up, too, eventually??

 

I have the feeling, my ex is sooo happy with his new love that he completely forgot about me and just lives his life happily, as if nothing had happened... he just replaced me and everything seems to be fine in his life now...

 

I wonder if it "haunts" them, too, one day or if some people are able to really move on that quickly, without ever wondering whether they made the right choice and without ever looking back, without feeling any pain at all? Is that possible?

 

I've read here that they grieved during the relationship with us and had made up their minds loong ago, so once they tell us it's over and they jump into the new relationship, they have done all their grieving already and are over and done with the relationship with us, so it indeed is easy for them to move on...

 

What do you think??

 

Any stories, experiences?!

[RubyWoo]

Mine seems to be happier than ever without me, partying and on to new girls.

[meoww]

I've never dumped someone I was still in love with. I'd say most, as in like 80% of the time, dumpers do the dumping because they really want to move on. However, especially if they are still sexually attracted to you, then they may be somewhat torn--maybe they still feel a sense of closeness or possessiveness. That doesn't mean they're not out having a lot of fun without you though, and would rather spend the majority of their time without you.

 

In my experience, I've felt both pain because of the failed relationship and excitement for the new person. However, the pain is nothing compared to what a dumpee feels (I've been both). At that point, I've weighed my options and one choice is clearly more appealing than the other. I don't think we can take much comfort in thinking that the dumpers miss us! it's really not much.

[RubyWoo]

Exactly, probably they don't give a damn. If my ex has decided he's better off without me, he's obviously not missing me much. He wants a life without me in it.

[lemsip]

 

I've read here that they grieved during the relationship with us and had made up their minds loong ago, so once they tell us it's over and they jump into the new relationship, they have done all their grieving already and are over and done with the relationship with us, so it indeed is easy for them to move on...

 

 

Sad to say but I reckon this is 99.99% true. As far as I know my ex is still with her new guy, but since I told my friends not to tell me anything about her, I really can't say. I think my ex used the 4-month break we went on to get over me. Then hooked up with someone else while I was still fighting like a stupid d*ckhead.

 

If you think about it, someone wouldn't break up with you if they weren't fully certain about it. I don't have a problem with that. It's the way so many of our exs on here went about it.

 

Mine was a coward, a total coward.

[lemsip]

This is a great post.

[meoww]

This is a great post.

 

Thanks! I tried : )