Saying stupid things after being dumped?

[Timefornc]

My question is .... How do you forgive yourself after saying horrible things to your ex after being dumped?

 

I can't believe my immaturity, and some of things I have said are just plain mean, all because I didn't get my own way.

 

Has anyone else been over the top ridiculous and still been forgiven ?

[jjcool00]

What exactly did you say?

[Timefornc]

What exactly did you say?

 

I Spose mainly pleading and asking for another chance, and then getting angry and being mean when I didn't get a response. Just not things you would say to someone you claimed to love.

[The Man Who]

Thing is Timefornc, if we didn't do anything bad or wrong at any moment in time we'd have nothing to regret for the rest of our life.

 

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and unfortunately if you pleaded/begged then it won't reflect well on you with your ex. You can't change the past so you just have to focus on the future now.

[mactownman]

I took the breakup well, was more or less in shock so didn't say much at all really. However, a week later when I found out she was with another guy the night she broke up with me, and who she is now dating, I flipped out a little bit. Emotions just took over. Yelled at her real good and called her a "miserable wh*re." Havn't spoken to her since. I felt bad about it, it does seem very immature, but what she did was really messed up. I have forgiven myself and learned from my mistakes.

[jjcool00]

"For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction" Something must've warranted you saying whatever it is you said. Her action directly caused your reaction. I think if you remember that you won't try to forgive yourself and instead just accept it for what it is and know that at that point you felt it justified and move on.

[Ocean of Blue]

A girl I dated briefly texted me to tell me she was not in a position to see me anymore I replied with:

 

 

ME: "To be honest I was feeling exactly the same way. I'm glad you took the initiative. I think you are a nice person and I wish you well"

 

HER: "You too.....I'm really sorry"

 

ME: "Don't be. I told you on Wednesday that I wasn't feeling it with you. You are a nice girl but there is no chemistry between us"

 

I realize that the last reply may have come accross as a 'saving face' power play. However I wanted to get the facts straight as she knew I was about to dump her first.

[gettinmeback56]

After the initial nuclear bomb was dropped by my ex, I reacted about as immaturely as humanly possible. Yelling,name calling, threatening suicide, begging,pleading, etc. Then after we had been separated for a couple of weeks, I decided to keep my cool as we were headed for divorce, this irritated her beyond belief. But then she started taking emotional jabs at me, and I lost my control of the situation AGAIN. As soon as I started doing the right things, she'd attack another nerve with a text message, or sending me a property settlement agreement through email at 10:30 PM, or saying some of the most hurtful things, and I'd lose my cool. This went on for 2 more months, it was brutal. I moved my stuff out of our house, signed the settlement agreement, and started going to counseling for my grief.

 

In August she called me to let me know that I'd have to sign a few more papers before she filed, I said "fine, just let me know", I also added "You know, I still don't want this, but I cannot stop you". NC until today, she filed for divorce on September 2nd, just texted to let me know. She took another few jabs at me, subtle, but undeniable attempts to inflict hurt. I took it like a man, didn't rise to the bait, did not validate her feelings, signed the papers she emailed me and mailed them this evening. No "I love You", No "Are you sure", no "Have a nice life", no "I'm sorry" NOTHING. I know I walked away knowing I was not at fault.

 

Do I regret the way I acted at the beginning, maybe a little. But who's walking away with no regrets?

 

[Dryyoureyes]

My question is .... How do you forgive yourself after saying horrible things to your ex after being dumped?

 

I can't believe my immaturity, and some of things I have said are just plain mean, all because I didn't get my own way.

 

Has anyone else been over the top ridiculous and still been forgiven ?

 

Well, if there is no future as friends, who cares what you have said or done? Forgive yourself and learn from what happened. I did the same but I felt like I had to do it, to not be the only one who lost something...veryy immature but I have forgiven myself and it was a good relief of my anger. I don´t regret it and I can forgive myself...onwards and upwards!