i have fallen in love with my Best Friend

[djquest]

Hi, i have basically fallen for my Best friend, she has been close to me for about 2 years now but i have like known her like 4 years. i know everything about her. Recently about 4 to 5 months ago she broke up with her boyfriend whom she was going out wid for like 3 years. i started to have feeling for her about a year ago but tried to hide coz i always thought to myself that she is just a friend and recetly about 3 months ago it hit me in the face that i need her and always want to be with and would do anything for her.

 

Me and her now flirt a lot and have good eye contacts,i always compliment her and always notice everything she were or changes about her apperance. when i look into her i sometimes feel that she want me to coz i sometimes feel that we are on the same wavelength coz we start to mimic each other behavour, the tone in our voice changes and we somtimes get a bit nervous.

 

What i am trying to say is that how do i tell her that want to be more then friends with her coz at times i feel she likes me more then a friend but at sometime i think i could be imagining it. i am afriad to tell her how i feel coz i don't want to lose her.

 

BTW i can go but they way we treat each other but u prolly don't want me to.

 

Can u plz help coz its driving me nuts, coz i keep on thinkin about her all the time

[aloneforever]

I know how you feel, I was in the same situation once, I was really close to this girl and a lot of poeple thought we where going out we where so close. One day however I started to have feelings for her, and let me tell you. BIG MISTAKE, it was the worst mistake of my life. I just liked her becuase it was easy, I was so stupid. After I told her how I felt she started to use me like a tool, things might be different for you, I hope they are. Anyways point of the story is if you ask her out and if she says no which hopefully she won't make sure she treats you like a person.

[djquest]

cheers for advice dude, i have already talked her about various stuff, and she one time said to me if she wanted she knows that she could take advangtage of me but she says she will neva do it coz that is not her, the other thing that made me want her even more is when she said to, although a while back, she said "sometimes the best of friends can have the best reletionship and i believe that" that made me feel for her even more. i have started to build guts so that i can tell her that i want to be more then friends.

 

could you or anyone else tell me how should i go about doing that, coz i don't really want to make a muppet of myself if you know what i mean

[all4chrst]

Hey man,

First off, she's right that the best relationships will come out of friendships. Any girl who holds the idea that "I could never date him because he's my friend" is an idiot as far as I'm concerned, because the entire point of dating to learn about the other person and determine eventually if that person is the person you would like to marry, so if you already have been best friends for a long time then you already know all of her quirks and neither of you are going to try and pretend to be what you're not, thus making the relationship a ton better.

 

The bottom line in any relationship though is honesty. Being the guy having to ask out the girl sucks, because of all the uncertainty and stress of it, but if you can muster the courage and confidence to just ask her out then that will be better for you in the long run, since most girls want a guy who can protect and provide for them, so don't take some easy out. In the end the best thing to do is to just be honest with her. Don't play games with her and unfortunately even with the strongest signals there is a potential that she could say "no" if she's not ready at the moment for the relationship, so if that happens don't treat her any differently or get discouraged, but rather continue to build your friendship with her and see what time will do for the two of you.

 

Don't be too concerned about her knowing that she can manipulate you, because honestly if any girl is smart they will realize that they can manipulate the guy that likes them. The important thing is that she hasn't done it and hopefully doesn't have a history of trying to manipulate guys. Just be aware of it and don't allow her to toy with you and you'll be fine.

 

Without knowing more about your particular situation that's about all the advice I have for you, but if you are interested in talking more about it just let me know and I'll gladly help however I can.

[djquest]

Well i told her what i think of her and i do hope that shw knows wat i want. but now i got a problem again. when i told her about what i wanted and what i thought of her she started to smile, blush and kept on looking at me. i told her while i was driving and i know its dumb but i almost crashed the car while i was driving coz i kept on looking at her and well she kept on looking back. Any way i asked her out to dinner and well she said no.

 

And at the same time she said no, i was talking to to her and told her she is perfect and she started flirting and stuff. i tried to ask her again but she said no again but with no explaination on why a no but she just keeps saying she got stuff on her mind.

 

But now things are different between us, she want me to make all the decesions for her and want me to tell her when we meet or go to university.

 

And now she asks me for help a lot more, before she felt a bit distant but now close. And well u prolly think its dumb but i have went out of my way to do things for her even though she said to me if u can help me with a certain thing i can but i should not go out of my way, well wen i did and told her she went all silent with a happy sort of tone, which i like. i know she is not using me coz every time i try and help her she says don't worry but i still do it and she appricaites it.

 

Well i want to know wat i should do, coz i want her even more then ever but i don't know what to do next, i really want her to set next to me and talk about it to make things clear where i and her stand but she does not really want to do that coz all she say she got stuff in her head. That confuses me.

 

So Plz Help me i feel lost and i know 100% i love her and i know she has some sort of feeling for me but i feel she is scared to tell me or i may be wrong

 

 

[all4chrst]

Don't despair that you feel lost. Girls are amazing, though they are also very difficult for us guys to try and figure out, which is makes them so mysterious and attractive to us anyway. I understand that it can be very frustrating to try to interpret a girl's actions but be careful to not over analyze or read into things because it will just get you into trouble. That being said, each situation involving girls is different and patience is generally the best course of action. Now patience doesn't necessarily mean backing off (unless she asks you to), because otherwise spending less time with her will confirm any fears or doubts that she may have. The best relationships will always come out of a friendship where the guy and girl are basically best friends before they start "dating", because trust is very important to girls and they want to know that they're not just a trophy you're trying to win. Some girls will instinctively say no to give themselves time to really think about going out with a guy and trust me, as frustrating as it is, this is the type of girl that is best (assuming they're not toying with you) because they aren't foolishly rushing into things, but rather are mature enough to take the possibility of a relationship very seriously. I'd love to help some more if possible, but it's hard to give accurate advice without knowing all the details of the problem that you're facing. If you want to take more indepth about it, feel free to IM on MSN Messenger at email removed and I'll do what I can to help.

[Merry]

I'm kinda in the same situation as you. I've got a great guy friend and we just get along so well together. I think he's gonna ask me out seeon, so here's hoping. =} Anywayz, I think it's better if you just be totally honest with her--that's what I would want at least. And hopefully she'll say she feels the same way for you.