Thought I was better

[sadandalone]

Has been some time since the breakup there has been NC, by me because he changed his number and nothing from him at all, I guess I am really dead to him, am really upset that he hasn't even reached out to me at all.....nothing, I am nothing to him after everything we had, that is really hurtful. I thought I was getting better, but today I am so low and sad that I just want to curl up and disappear....kind of like he did from my life...

 

I am hurting really bad right now.....why can't I be over this and over him???

[Benville]

There are two ways to take someone turning their back on you. You've taken one (which admittedly is the same way I'd take going on old habits) - the negative way. Then there's the positive way. It's not necessarily the cliche "I'm too good for him" if you don't want it to be, but why does someone turning their back on you have to be your fault? Your failure?

 

It doesn't. So many of us on this forum seem to struggle with low self-worth and a low sense of self-value, this is what seems to be stopping so many of us from healing and letting go of our ex's. It's impossible to move onwards and more importantly upwards if we ourselves kick ourselves in the shins every time we stumble.

[lemsip]

I feel like you do sadandalone, yet I also agree with Ben. If only we could take a step back and see our position from a third-person perspective. We need to love ourselves more. My ex has cut me off as well, but deep down I know it's because she doesn't want to hurt me anymore. I almost wish there was a more vindictive reason for her coldness but I know her too well. I'm not putting her on a pedestal when I say this, but she wouldn't set out to deliberately hurt me. She's with someone else now, but I'd still take her back. Even admitting/thinking that is regressing my healing though.

[Deciduous]

Hi sadandalone,

 

This is pretty much the normal progression of heart-break.

 

I thought I was getting better, but today I am so low and sad that I just want to curl up and disappear.

 

Heartbreak doesn't heal in a straight linear line. i.e." I feel terrible last month, but it gets better with each passing minute." It happens in waves.

 

The wave comes in we're knocked off our feet. The wave goes out, we wonder what we saw in them. It comes in again, we can't live without them, it goes out, we can't live with that douche-bag. It goes in and out, over and over, washing through these cycles until it finally washes out to speck on the horizon.

 

This all sounds pretty normal to me. I get why you are disappointed though, you fear you are starting at the beginning again, but you are not, when the tide goes out, it goes out further and further, dropping lower and lower on the horizon. Still has the power to wash in again, though at this stage.

 

This isn't a set back. Just your emotions going through their natural cycle towards healing.

 

This is not a sign that you will never get over him, just a sign that heartbreak is a tricky b**** and just washes up the beach unexpectedly sometimes, even when you thought the tide had gone out for good.

 

Good luck - Deciduousxxx