sick of him having this control over me.

[wicked6018]

Four days post BU, one day NC.

 

i can't drink coffee anymore because we used to drink it together all the time. (i had several cups a day before this.) i can't go out into public anywhere, because every place holds memories of him.

 

after giving up facebook for four days, i reactivated it and did some stalking. bad idea, i know. i was relieved to see that he still has his deleted. i went ahead and deleted all of his friends from my friends list. just seeing that some of them had made posts about him hurt me so much. just seeing his name. i couldn't bring myself to delete his family members yet, just his friends.

 

i know my family is so worried about me. i just stay in my room or lay on the couch watching tv, staring into space. i can't talk to them.

 

i deleted his number so that there is absolutely no way to contact him now.

 

someone please let me know how i am doing. i don't know how much more of this pain i can bear. and it hasn't even been a week.

[Bella4]

You have been strong by deleting his number and staying no contact, and deleting all memories such as friends.

 

Trust me - the first 2 weeks are the worst until you hit acceptance, you're doing well. Start to think about yourself, look after yourself, nobody is more important.

 

Take care.

[20pence]

You're doing so well

 

Well done to delete facebook - such a good idea.

 

Regarding the memories. I had the same thing, it got so bad that I couldn't drive down certain roads home because we used to drive home together, i had to completely change my route!

 

My best friend told me this though, and it really helped:

 

"Your ex probably used the toilet in the past too, huh? Well then, is that going to stop you using your bathroom? How about shoes? Your ex had shoes right - is that going to stop you wearing shoes now because they hold a memory? Sure certain places will hold memories for you, and that's tough but don't let it destroy your future." It's a bit silly but it helped

 

Good luck x

[hello678]

You sound like your doing really well actually!

 

Just remember, every time you break no contact it usually sets you back around 2 weeks in your recovery. Its only really early stages for you and you sound like your making all the right steps. keep it up and you will feel better.

[wicked6018]

thanks for the encouragement, everyone. still in denial, i feel. i don't know what i would do without this forum, i really don't. i feel that i have friends on here that care.

[RiceWineSherry]

You are heading in the right direction!

 

Continue on with NC! If you feel the urge to contact him, write your feelings down in a journal. I've been doing that and it helps quite a bit. It's good to see your emotions down on paper rather than trying to internalize it. You can then track your emotional progress.

 

Let us know your progress!

[wicked6018]

i will. thanks so much.