cursedgirl Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 me and my bf usually have sex like 2 or 3 times per week. other times he's tired and such..im ok with it and i thought it was just his sex drive.But today he told me 90% of time when he was having a shower,he was jerking off..so it;s like he jerks off pretty much every day. i can understand why he'd rather do it himself than do it with me..is it common for you guys? Link to comment
tmtex Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I would say i do, time permitting Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Me personally... no. Not sure why i would want to? If a guy has a higher sex drive i can see it being necessary to fulfill his needs, but not if she is at the same level or higher. Link to comment
lukeb Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 To answer your question I believe it is common for guys to continue to masturbate while they are in a relationship. What is common or usual isn't really the point if your sexual needs aren't being met. Having sex two to three times a week is fairly average. I think there are plenty of couples who have more sex and plenty who have less. Masturbating every single day in addition to having a healthy sex life with you does seem somewhat excessive. Seems to me the question at hand is whether or not your sexual needs are being met not what are considered normal sexual habits for guys. Link to comment
needmoreinfo Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 No. Personally if am really sexually attracted to my gf, I will usually give up sleep for sex. Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Perhaps youre not "in the mood" at the same time? Also it's posible to be tired but still have the URGE to get off, In which cases it can be much quicker and less effort to go "jerk off" as you put it. I don't think it's uncommon (or un healthy) as long as you don't feel negelected. Did you feel a need for a more active sex life Before you found out about the masturbation? Link to comment
cursedgirl Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 and another question : is it common guys think about sex with other girls other than your gf? my bf also tells me he will sometimes get hard just cuz some customers wear skanky dresses that show their ass and boobs and he will get turned on.. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 and another question : is it common guys think about sex with other girls other than your gf? my bf also tells me he will sometimes get hard just cuz some customers wear skanky dresses that show their ass and boobs and he will get turned on.. Yes and no. Most guys cannot control their arousal level. It is a fact. Have a s----y looking women pass in front of a guys eyes and he will be having a tough time preventing an erection. We are designed that way on purpose. Having an erection does not automatically mean we want or desire sex. It is similar to when a girl sees a guy with their shirt off, six pack showing etc etc - they get wet even if they dont desire sex with that person. Being easily aroused is a positive for the survival of the human race. Think about it - if a guy and a girl can meet, have sex, and have the girl get pregnant in a whole 5 mins... that is a plus for our survival. Link to comment
cursedgirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Yes and no. Most guys cannot control their arousal level. It is a fact. Have a s----y looking women pass in front of a guys eyes and he will be having a tough time preventing an erection. We are designed that way on purpose. Having an erection does not automatically mean we want or desire sex. It is similar to when a girl sees a guy with their shirt off, six pack showing etc etc - they get wet even if they dont desire sex with that person. Being easily aroused is a positive for the survival of the human race. Think about it - if a guy and a girl can meet, have sex, and have the girl get pregnant in a whole 5 mins... that is a plus for our survival. no but he also fantasies them that's why he gets hard Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Most guys do. In fact, even girls do as well. Yep, it is true. Fact of life im afraid. As long as he stays loyal to you, that is all that matters. Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 There's a difference between a Passing thought or fantasy that occasionally causes arousal when it crosses your mind or you see someone/something that trigger that.. perfectly normal. It only becomes unhealthy when it becomes an Obsession- Every seen those shows where some guy completely ignores his wife and obsesses over Porn while his marriage crumbles? That's an unhealthy Obsession. Link to comment
cursedgirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Perhaps youre not "in the mood" at the same time? Also it's posible to be tired but still have the URGE to get off, In which cases it can be much quicker and less effort to go "jerk off" as you put it. I don't think it's uncommon (or un healthy) as long as you don't feel negelected. Did you feel a need for a more active sex life Before you found out about the masturbation? i can have sex everyday but i thought he was too tired to do so. but now i think the reason is probs cuz he already jerked off beforehand.he said cuz he just wanted to do it right there and then..i cant really relate. Link to comment
cursedgirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 There's a difference between a Passing thought or fantasy that occasionally causes arousal when it crosses your mind or you see someone/something that trigger that.. perfectly normal. It only becomes unhealthy when it becomes an Obsession- Every seen those shows where some guy completely ignores his wife and obsesses over Porn while his marriage crumbles? That's an unhealthy Obsession. well..he probs is obsessed with boobs. he can get turned on by every woman's boobs Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 well..he probs is obsessed with boobs. he can get turned on by every woman's boobs Perhaps reintroduce him to yours? Unless you are unusual and for some reason have invisible breasts??? To be honest, if you want it more than you get it... damn girl let him know! Perhaps he will stop getting himself off solo and give you what you desire? Link to comment
bichin Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Take a pic of yourself in a bikini. Write a cute caption like, "come find me..." Laminate it and hang it in the shower. Link to comment
greywolf Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Masturbation is faster and takes less effort, and sometimes you just don't feel like going through the effort of turning someone else on, etc. But if I was only getting sex twice a week, and I found out my partner still masturbated frequently, I'd probably be a little bit upset. And why is he so tired that he can only have sex twice a week? That's not normal, unless he's working 2 jobs or something. Link to comment
cursedgirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Perhaps reintroduce him to yours? Unless you are unusual and for some reason have invisible breasts??? To be honest, if you want it more than you get it... damn girl let him know! Perhaps he will stop getting himself off solo and give you what you desire? well he likes mine and he likes everyone elses. i guess im not happy cuz every woman can turn him on and maybe better than i can do.everytime i tell him about my concern he always says the sweetest things to ease my mind and reasures me that he loves me by all his heart. but they dont solve the problem. i dont even wanna hear such words anymore. well maybe this problem cant be solved?.maybe even him cant control himself on this?. he says "ok next time when i want sex i'll go directly to you(instead of finish by himself)" but .gee, do i really have to tell him this? isnt this something everyone should know?..and he KNOWS my sex drive is higher than twice per week. Link to comment
cursedgirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Masturbation is faster and takes less effort, and sometimes you just don't feel like going through the effort of turning someone else on, etc. But if I was only getting sex twice a week, and I found out my partner still masturbated frequently, I'd probably be a little bit upset. And why is he so tired that he can only have sex twice a week? That's not normal, unless he's working 2 jobs or something. i wish i knew what to do about it.. Link to comment
cursedgirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Most guys do. In fact, even girls do as well. Yep, it is true. Fact of life im afraid. As long as he stays loyal to you, that is all that matters. really ? guys just fantasise random girls when they show their boobs? and i told him i was thinking about having sex with other guys. he goes " you fantasies other guys when having sex with me?!" i said "of course not.but when im not having sex with you,im fansatising having sex with other guys" and he went silent for a minute and said "ok i see your point i will stop doing that"... that makes me not know whether to cry or to laugh.. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 really ? guys just fantasise random girls when they show their boobs? and i told him i was thinking about having sex with other guys. he goes " you fantasies other guys when having sex with me?!" i said "of course not.but when im not having sex with you,im fansatising having sex with other guys" and he went silent for a minute and said "ok i see your point i will stop doing that"... that makes me not know whether to cry or to laugh.. Yes. It isnt all that hard to do. And, like i said, women do the same thing. I think you need to entice him into your domain. Make him want you and only you. Perhaps ask him about his fantasies are that you could personally fulfill (you dont have to do them if you are not up to it, but find something he wants to do to or with you that you feel you can perform for him). Make yourself more desirable to him. You know, the feminine way. Change the scene, alter the mood, plan ahead and tell him exactly what he will get when he enters in advance. Guys, just as much as girls, cannot turn off their desire for the opposite sex. It is part of nature. You just need to provide him with the BEST outlet for his sexual desire. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Of course. We don't always want to be responsible for someone else's pleasure 100% of the time. Sometimes it's nice just to destress and let off steam without having to worry about someone else. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Of course. We don't always want to be responsible for someone else's pleasure 100% of the time. Sometimes it's nice just to destress and let off steam without having to worry about someone else. I would agree with that. Sometimes it is just better to go at it solo, at your own pace, and for your own pleasure. No requirements placed upon you to please another - you just get off and go on your merry way. Of course, when that person does it instead of actual sex or intimacy, then there is a major problem. Link to comment
christineX Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 i think that my bf might be doing the same its ok for guys but it sometimes hurts to think that ur not the one that is turning him on .... i sometimes think that is he really intersted in me because he is thinking about someone else .... to tell u the truth i sometimes cry while having sex because it really hurts ... i know how u feel xxx Link to comment
swampyankee Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Sounds like you should be joining him in the shower... Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 i think that my bf might be doing the same its ok for guys but it sometimes hurts to think that ur not the one that is turning him on .... i sometimes think that is he really intersted in me because he is thinking about someone else .... to tell u the truth i sometimes cry while having sex because it really hurts ... i know how u feel xxx Dont forget - male masturbation is usually really quick and fast. It ''can'' be all over in a couple minutes. Go watch a porno to get aroused, start going at it and before the movie reaches the 1 minute mark... bam! Doing it with a girl requires that she be fully aroused as well or ^^ what Christine said will happen. The girl will not be self lubricated enough and the old rubbing of sandpaper comes to mind. Try a longer lead up to sex with foreplay or even better - get lubricant. Link to comment
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