liking my best friend

[kkfan]

Hey guys,

 

Need some advice here, I met this girl in March at work, we became good friends very quickly because we see each other almost everyday at work, and we would also go out after work and on the weekends for dinner and drinks or just for fun, we've become best friends in such a short time. Anyways, she left our company at around June, but we still saw each other almost everyday, she'd be waiting for me after work to have dinner and to go out. I've recently moved out on my own, and she would come over to help me clean my room and decorate it and such, and sometimes I would go over to her place, anyways, we would stay up till very late(usually 3 or 4 am, sometimes we'd skip sleep altogether) just chatting, watching movies or just playing cards. Anyways, so basically, we've spent almost everyday together for the last 2 months. Anyways, I told her how I felt about her last night, she said she knew, but she can't be with me because she still likes her ex (also her first bf) whom broke up with her over 2 years ago (but they were together for like 5 years), and that she still can't get over him and is waiting for him. So what can I do now ? I've agreed to remain friends , afterall, can I not? But I still like her a lot, but I don't know how long she'll need to get over her ex or if she ever will, I mean it's been 2 years already, and she won't answer me directly when I asked whether she had any feelings for me at all, she just said she won't go with feelings alone anymore. I mean I don't want to give up, but I don't know what I can do......

[american dream]

Well, if she likes you, and it seems like she really does, she would hate to see you with another girl. Don't dog her or anything, just let her know that you may not be able to hang out as much, and clue her in to the fact that you are getting other dates (even if you may not be) and see if she changes her tune. Hopefully she will. With you it is like she is getting the benifit of having a boyfriend, but she doesnt have to acknowledge it. This situation is unfair to you. Don't let it be. If you see her every day (literally?) then cut it down to 4 or 5 times a week. Tell her you are busy or whatever, and let her sweat it out. No girl would want to lose 2 guys she really likes. Maybe this will make her get over the ex.

 

Cheers!

[myplague234]

man i have a similar problem...lucky thing for you is that you told her and u werent to shy to tell her how u felt....i was too late on telling my friend how i felt bout her and BAM she got a bf...newasy wait it out and when she feels the time is right ask again.

[nothingsfading]

i got the opposite, i told i girl how i felt to early and now she wont even talk to me.i'm so sad

[dpressedone89]

well, dating a best friend can either be beautiful or disasterous. i really wish you luck and i hope it turns out to be the first one

[Quimninja]

I'm in almost exactly the same situation- mebee the beginning was different tho: met this lad on a night out, we went home together, and i went back home the next day. Later on, i moved to that area and we met up again, and i realised that there was no spark or real sexual attraction there, so, told him, and he said he felt the same. But we were both really into staying friends, and we did, in fact ended up together all the time and became best mates.... and it's been all good, other people have been convinced that there's something more between us, but we've put them straight. But then I've had a few situations where I've questioned whether it's really as clear cut. When we've got drunk and I've heard " I wish you were my girlfriend"... when close friends have said they truly think he's in love with me, when we ended up moving into a tiny 2 bedroom flat, and now I feel totally trapped and claustrophobic......i mean whenever i've questioned the friendship, I've confronted him and he's utterly denied any beyond-friendly feelings for me...but its a bit scary sometimes.

And now i feel snappish and irritable when we're in the flat every evening, he's cooking a lovely dinner again and i feel MARRIED or something...

And we were in manchester the other day, met up with an old friend of his, who we've gone out with a few times and who I think is lovely and sexy and gorgeous, but this has progressively intensified every time we meet up, till now I can't get him out of my head and he's got a girlfriend... It's just a bad time of year, If i had money I'd get drunk !!