I feel like I mean nothing to him anymore.

[confused4now]

The other day my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. That morning when I saw him before work, everything was fine. 5 hours later it's over. Here's what happened. A couple of years ago he cheated on me 2 times. I forgave hima nd we moved on. Then about 6 months later he broke up with me for another girl. We got back together a week later. The last 2 years has been great as far as I could see. But a couple of weeks ago I could sense him pulling away. I always have the idea that when something's wrong, he's cheating on me. I can't help it. I was on my lunch break and he called me and told me that he was going to his friend's house. So I decided to drive by. When I drove by, one of the girl's that he cheated on me with was there standing in the drive-way with them. I was mad so I called and argues with him. Then he asked me if I was ever going to drop it. I hung up. When I got off work I went to his house to tlak to him and that's when it happened. he said that he felt we were frowing apart, and then when I asked him again he said "Did you really think that we'd be together forever." It killed me inside. He says he still cares and I still love him, but I don't know what to do. When I went to get my stuff he acted like nothing ever happened. I need your advice please help me. What should I do??

[cs20thcenturyfox]

I think you need to move on! This guy sounds like he's just playing games with you, I mean is this what you want in a man? Girl you need to just leave this guy, don't call him, email him or anything. Don't beg him back either 'cause it sounds like he thinks he can have when ever he wants! You'll be better w/o a man like that...trust me.

[king-morbid]

You will have to keep your mind occupied and do make-work projects so you don't feel the brunt of the pain. Put yourself in situations to meet people and be with friends to cheer you up. Find a new partner as soon as you can. These things happen in life. You will have to do your best to get over the pain.

[paul475]

...you do need to move on, but here's the gift of the stormy relationship you've had thus far. It might strike you as out in, "left field," but give it a chance to sink in.

 

You chose a betrayer and an abandoner because you betray and abandon yourself in many ways each day without even realizing it. No doubt you were abandoned and betrayed many times as a child and those lessons -- and the survival responses necessary to survive them -- have stuck with you.

 

Survival response numero uno -- you "screen out" the relevant data that's available from the other person's behavior that would tell you, every time, when you were dealing with an abandoner or a betrayer. Character flaws stick out and get noticed by people who do not have them onboard before even phone numbers are exchanged. But a person who possesses the same character defects will screen them out in order to live with the fact that they are doing unto others precisely as has been done unto them. The guilt that this revelation raises is so painful that we'd rather it be in someone else.

 

And so we go out looking for that someone. Not consciously, of course, but subconsciously.

 

So if you want to rid yourself of these kinds of relationships, recognize and accept your defects of character as they have been reflected in your perception of the OTHER person. They won't be the same in terms of the form these defects take, but the content will always be identical.

 

For example, you have low self esteem. That much is obvious given how hard you have tried to make something work with such a cad. But so does he.

 

You perceive low self esteem in him in the form of his dishonesty and the way he has returned to the scene of his own vomit in the form of the woman he cheated on you with. That enraged you, even though you (and most folks) don't realize or understand that nothing makes us angry for the reasons that we first think of.

 

You share this same defect of low self esteem because, hey, you took him back and attempted to "forget" his betrayal and his abandonment to the point where it has driven you nuts. And, of course, the absolute LAST place anyone EVER looks for the reason for their anger is within their own defects of character that they have always had the "good taste" not to subject others to. Sooprize, sooprize. The last place we look is usually where we find things. And this is also the reason why people stay stuck in their anger and outrage long after their supposed reasons for being angry have come and long since gone. See what I mean by, "left field?"

 

Some things just should NOT be forgotten. Forgiven, of course, but forgetting to note that a snake must always be a snake is a formula for getting bitten, repeatedly, and becoming paranoid of snakebite. Our task is not to continue to live in fear, but to learn more and more of the inexhaustible joy available throughout Creation.

[chocos]

well.. same situation... haiz.. what can i say.. i can perfectly understand what you are going through.. especially when you have given it a 101%.

 

Isn't it such a disappointment? that someone whom you have trusted in so much, gave up so much for could do something this horrible?

 

PM me, if you feel like talking... i'll be there to listen