just read this first

[ircsmirk]

this is for all of you that want to kill themselves, i know what you are going through. i wish i was dead to... or at least i did because i just lost my girlfriend for good and she was the only thing i had. but anyway think about this before you do it, picture that you really did die, think about how you would feel never being able to see your friends, or maybe someone that you love. think about that, suicide wont get rid your problems you will just lose everything you have or see. just yesterday i overdosed on amphetamines because my girlfriend broke up with me, luckily i didnt die and now after thinking about what i just wrote i dont want to kill myself. I just cant think about never seeing the people in my life again, it makes my stomach upset. just think about the things you do before you do them... i learned this the hard way.

[thisisnotanexit]

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

 

I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

 

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

 

Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

 

 

 

Start by considering this statement:

 

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens

when pain exceeds

resources for coping with pain."

 

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

 

 

Don't accept it if someone tells you, "that's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

 

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

 

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

 

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

 

 

1 You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

 

2 Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

 

3 People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

 

4 Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

 

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

 

Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans

Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.

Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999

Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line

Call a psychotherapist

Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen

But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

 

5 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

 

 

Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.

 

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

 

 

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

 

Now: I'd like you to call someone.

 

And while you're at it, you can still stay with me for a bit. Check out these sources of online help.

 

link removed

to see the rest.

 

take care!

[Gauchori]

What ircsmirk said is true. Killing yourself wount help. Umm... what you should also think about is how many people will you let down? what about you future life dreams? what about that perfect boy/girl you always dream of? what about of having kids, the joy they will bring to your life. What about the people alround you? what they will think? how they will feel? What about the people that you worked with? what advice will that be? what leson will you give them? how much will they missed you? Life is not just problems; sometimes we think its is. The problems are ther so you will overcome them, and thanks to that you will be a better person, and actually more mature. If you don't fight your problems and overcome them, they will overcome you and they will olways be there until you learn the leson. Its like if you don't pass third grade, and you still haven't learned your leson and 3 years have passed and you are still in the same level? well... thats the same with the problems. I hope that was something that could help you guys and best of luck to all of you!! 8)

[ang3l2004]

Thisisnotanexit,

Wow that was a very good post and very true and ppl should read that and think about what they are doing and why they are doing it,It does not solve anything it will not make things better if you are not around,I think that it's very good that people come to the board to post there problems and try to get responses because that is the first step to get some help is talking to someone anyone,Never think about taking your life because there are so many things in life that are important and mabe things are hard and tough and sad and all of that at times but it will get better,Life is not easy we all know that but it is a great experiece to live it,Just think this way get yourself together get rid of all the pain which may take time and start over fresh and new and become anything you want to be without the pain make yourself happy and do what you can to get there,Set goals then go for reaching for them,Goodluck and if anyone ever needs to talk please feel free to pm me and once again thisisnotanexit that was a good post and thanks for sharing your opinion