nsomnia912 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Im so torn...if only I had been more patient...more understanding... " I'm moving on..I'm happy" that is haunting me....I want to say I don't want you to move on...I'm getting better I know I've messed up...I know I did...i want to fix it..I want you back.. I am sorrow I can't stop crying.....tonight is horrible..there is no sleep..only thought...please god...please..anyone...anything....what I will give for another chance...what I would do for a moment..just a moment of a release from these thoughts....I beg you life for a reprievment.... I take it all back...please! Please dont be with him! Sob ....i lay here dying inside...you care not for who i am...you see a demon you had to escape... I see nothing but tears.. I miss you... Im sorry...I just want you back...ill give it all up for one more moment... I am heartbreak Please I implore a miracle. This is my darkest hour! I dare say nothing to you in fear of the paralyzing cruelty your now capable of. I'm reaching for you... dying..will you not extend just a finger? I now weap...I throw up... In panic of purgatory...I do not end it...i invite both black and white to take me...by grace of a loving hand. Or by the cold icy grasp of death.... I lay here..I won't close my eyes, I cannot afford to miss you.... Please take me.....please end me... I am desperate i care nothong for luxuries..for finances or power.... The warm feel of another woman shall be a cold souless being against your compare.. I care nothing for health. Nor food Nor wine I care for you.... I am losing I am dying I am evil...i would gain your trust and love again....and once i show you the true meaning of love..of life..and the rapture of it all.... I will rip it from you! Leaving you as a pumpkin a week past eve... Hollow...candle that can barely muster a flick...a twitch... Rotting away sinking to a side....the once lit face, barley forms an image....only a terror that is not long for another day..maybe 2 ??? I am evil...I am revenge. I hate you! Your are a disease in my blood.... I am stone...I am rock I will not bleed for you..I will not wallow for you I am better than you. You are benieth me you peasant! You shall find the gallows...and you shall burn. You I shall rule your torment in hell! I AM DARKNESS!!!!! I admit defeat...to weak to breathe To dead to see I hear the wind I cry again...I feel warm I feel my heart dropping I feel my demise I take a deep breath And slowly i rise I wipe my tears. I cast aside my fears I tell myself its ok I'm convinced to soldier another day I find the hope. As hard as it may be I come to my senses..i finally can see. I am acceptance Theres a better future I am hopeful My heart pumps again My chest filled with breath My body moves I'm so tired...so very tired.. It's over now..I will live on And i will find a new life... And fill it with love and peace. And someone new I am redemption. Link to comment
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