Glowguy Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Steve, Please stay with us. We are all here for you just keep posting your thoughts and we will help you get through it. You've already done it once mate so you know you have the strength. It can be a very cruel world sometimes and nobody deserves to go through what you have bee through. Don't give up on life because there is so much more than this and you will be happy again. These feelings WILL pass but you have to be strong for one more night. Link to comment
LCA1986 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Come on, Steve. Be strong. Think of everyone that cares for you… your kids, your family, your friends. I was having these same kind of thoughts 2 years ago when I was dealing with both; A really bad break up and my father passing away. Both things happened within a month of each other, and there were many times when I found myself sitting on the floor sobbing with one of my hands holding a gun/knife. But then, I would think of my grandmother, my mother, my siblings… my friends, and I couldn’t go through it. I could not stand the thought of them suffering in the long run because of my selfishness. You have something much bigger to think of right now, you have your kids, man! I don’t know how old they are, but don’t you want to see them grow up? Don’t you want to be there for them whenever they graduate and accomplish every single one of their goals? I am sorry you are going through this, I really am. And I feel for you. But please, just hang in there. Things will get better with time. Just give it time and be patient. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 This would be so easy, i have so many anti deps and sleeping pills to hand Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 PLEASE ALLOW ME TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU ALL. oN TOP OF THIS EX SCENARIO MY FATHER IS DIEING, HE HAD A HEART ATTACK A FEW WEEKS AGO AND IS NOT EXPECTED TO LIVE MUCH LONGER, MY BROTHER IS ALSO CRITICALLY ILL AFTER HAVING HIS STOMACH REMOVED LAST MONTH, HE IS TOUCH AND GO, MY BABY NEICE OF 17 DAYS YOUNG DIED A FEW MONTHS AGO OF MENIGITUS, I NEVER MET HER ALIVE AND NOW MY POOR MUM HAS BEEN TOLD SHE WILL LOSE HER SIGHT SHORTLY. IM GOING TRHOUGH ALL OF THIS AND YET STILL THIS GIRL HAS THE POWER TO HURT ME MOST. THERE ARE PERHAPS TIMES WHEN LIFE CAN THROW TO MUCH AT YOU, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIME Link to comment
Glowguy Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Think about all the pain you are going through lately. Do you want to put your family through that tenfold? Be strong for the people that love you. Please call the support line and it least talk to someone. That's easy to do too. Link to comment
Maame Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 You made it this far bud, you made it through an hour. I told you, make it through another one, then another one and before you know it you'll feel a lot better. Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 PLEASE ALLOW ME TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU ALL. oN TOP OF THIS EX SCENARIO MY FATHER IS DIEING, HE HAD A HEART ATTACK A FEW WEEKS AGO AND IS NOT EXPECTED TO LIVE MUCH LONGER, MY BROTHER IS ALSO CRITICALLY ILL AFTER HAVING HIS STOMACH REMOVED LAST MONTH, HE IS TOUCH AND GO, MY BABY NEICE OF 17 DAYS YOUNG DIED A FEW MONTHS AGO OF MENIGITUS, I NEVER MET HER ALIVE AND NOW MY POOR MUM HAS BEEN TOLD SHE WILL LOSE HER SIGHT SHORTLY. IM GOING TRHOUGH ALL OF THIS AND YET STILL THIS GIRL HAS THE POWER TO HURT ME MOST. THERE ARE PERHAPS TIMES WHEN LIFE CAN THROW TO MUCH AT YOU, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIME Sounds like your family doesn't need another tragedy....especially a preventable one. I'm sorry for everything you are going through, must be really hard, but your ex should not be on this list. She treats you like crap. Her phone call to you should be a relief as others have said. Link to comment
Maame Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 PLEASE ALLOW ME TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU ALL. oN TOP OF THIS EX SCENARIO MY FATHER IS DIEING, HE HAD A HEART ATTACK A FEW WEEKS AGO AND IS NOT EXPECTED TO LIVE MUCH LONGER, MY BROTHER IS ALSO CRITICALLY ILL AFTER HAVING HIS STOMACH REMOVED LAST MONTH, HE IS TOUCH AND GO, MY BABY NEICE OF 17 DAYS YOUNG DIED A FEW MONTHS AGO OF MENIGITUS, I NEVER MET HER ALIVE AND NOW MY POOR MUM HAS BEEN TOLD SHE WILL LOSE HER SIGHT SHORTLY. IM GOING TRHOUGH ALL OF THIS AND YET STILL THIS GIRL HAS THE POWER TO HURT ME MOST. THERE ARE PERHAPS TIMES WHEN LIFE CAN THROW TO MUCH AT YOU, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIME I am really very sorry for everything you're going through. You love your kids don't you? The same way you love them, your mother loves you. Dont do something that will hurt her. You'll make it through. Link to comment
corgidude Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 If your family is hurting that much Steve, then why would you make them have to suffer through losing you as well? If your father and brother are so ill, what do you think the shock of losing you will do to them? What will happen to your children if you do this? Will your mother be able to care for them by herself if she loses her eyesight? Will they have to go into foster care? Would you make your mother lose her husband AND her son so closely together? I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I'm trying to get through to you right now. It sounds like your entire family needs you right now, and if you do this, you're essentially turning your back on them. If you're on here reading, then stop reading and pick up the phone right now: UK: 08457 90 90 90 (I copied the number, so I don't know if that's the right format for a UK phone number, being a Yank and all) Please, you're still here. Why not just take 5 minutes more and call the number? Link to comment
waterlilly Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 hi Steve, tell me about your kids please. I have 3. I love them so. Even though my heart is broken, I would never trade them for him. I love him, yes I do, even though he did some evil things to me. They tell me, he is a jerk, move on, find someone with a house and money..lol. They loved me through thick and thin. I did some horrible things in my relationship, things my kids knew about, but they kept right on loving me. How about yours? with love and light, take care. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 ive just had the police call me, could it get any worse Link to comment
waterlilly Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 why? and yes, it could get worse. So be glad it isn't. focus on something positive in your life...tell us about your kids. Link to comment
TheJerseyKid Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Steve I am SO happy you decided to stick things out. I was genuinely worried about you for a few there. Like I said, that was rock bottom. There is no lower than that, it's not possible. There is only one direction from the bottom, and that is up. Crack a smile for me would you? You have every reason to, you only have better days ahead of you... Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Still here, so just going to talk for a while. I'm 38 and here I am lying in bed wondering what the h e l l is going on with my life, I find myself wondering what I have done that is Sooo wrong and warrants having to suffer this way. I don't ask for much from life, just a girl I can love, protect, cherish and share my life with, does that person exist? I don't know right now, is like to think that one day my angel will be next to me but right now I'm not sure ill ever trust again, what this woman has done to me has left me an empty shell, I used to be such a happy fun loving soul, I hope I can get back there again one day Another day at work beckons in a few hours, its early morning here now and ill have to get up in a few hours to get ready, its not the most fun job in the world but its keeping my mind active at the moment and the pays ok so I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm a financial advisor. I've been thinking about a new car to lift my spirits, its always great for a few weeks but then you suddenly realise you have to pay for it and wonder why you did it. I think about you guys often, there are some truly amazing, wonderful, caring people on this site, it breaks my heart that so many brilliant people are brought together by such tragic circumstances. I wish I had a wand so I could grant everyone on here a wish. It humblest me knowing that the wishes would not be for wealth or fame but to simply have their loved one back.(tears) So how do I not ever let this happen again? I could go NC with girls for good it perhaps I could try and learn to love myself a little so I have some self worth. Truth is I don't know the answer. I had the police visit me this evening, someone on here I care for and who cares for me rang them and told them how I was feeling, she thought I was angry with her for putting me through this but truth be told, I think its one of the most amazing things anyone has ever done for me, the ultimate act of kindness and caring. Thank-you that person. I'm laying here typing this on my phone eating ginger biscuits, they're delicious and ill no doubt have punched through the whole pack soon. I'm thinking about how I'd love to meet personally a lot of people on here, there truly are some characters as I'm sure you'll all agree, it would be lovely to put faces to names, how does everyone feel about an ENA convention? Wouldn't that be great. Enough wittering for now I guess. Link to comment
garretp Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Man I know your going through a lot right now, but death is never the answer. I've thought about it too, but it just isn't the right path. I know it seems hopeless and it hurts. She seems like a terrible person to me, why would she contact you again telling you what you already know? She just wants to hurt you now, its a game, it makes her feel good. Don't let her do that, you don't deserve it. Your a great guy. If I were you I would be pissed, and you have every right to be. Get mad, then let it all out on a punching bag or something. Just don't hurt yourself. Shes the one that screwed up, not you. You can, and will find someone who truly loves you. Will be happy again you just have to get through this, and trust me you'll be a better person for it. If your into music give this song a try. "If You Cant Hang" by Sleeping With Sirens. Its really helped me. Its about a girl who you THINK is the one turns out to be nothing but a manipulative, cheating bit**, but later they find someone who is truly the girl of their dreams, showing that life goes on and you will be happy again you just have to get through this. Give it a listen if you have the chance. If you need someone to talk to just let me know. I'm here for you, and so is everyone else. I'll send you my email address in a pm, so if you ever need anything just let me know. Link to comment
Maame Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 i'm so glad to see you steve The way you're feeling right now is normal, we've all been there, some of us still are. as impossible as it may seem to you right now, that girl is out there somewhere. it will be hard to let go again and trust someone completely but once she comes in your life everything else will be easy and all this that you're going through right now will just be a memory. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Thanks garret, your a good man. Link to comment
ladyninja30 Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Steve She sounds manipulative. I don't know your whole story but from I'm reading here I can just tell you that if you go through with the sleeping pills plan..you are letting her win and you can't do that, you must be strong. Rant all you want, punch, scream hit something, cry, go running, pm someone here perhaps..but please just think rationally. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Why do I still let her get to me so much? I'm sooooo sad my friends. Link to comment
Maame Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 beacause you care and you're a good person. We're not wired to just switch the feeling on and off even though that would be pretty great. Your emotions are all over the place. Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Ay chihuahua, steve. Another twist in the road for you! I'm so sorry to hear about all the difficulties your family is going through. Please stay close and keep talking here. Link to comment
LCA1986 Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Glad to see you are still here, Steve. I have been coming to ENA today to check on your thread. Just keep posting and we will be here to listen to you Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Morning, it seems that it doesn't matter what time it is or where I am, the pain just keeps flowing. 2 weeks guys, that's all it took, 2 weeks for her to meet someone new and start sleeping with him this is really hurting me, I feel soooo worthless, I gave her so much love, so much of me yet she does that. I'm very heavy hearted, here come the tears. This is no way to live. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 Morning, it seems that it doesn't matter what time it is or where I am, the pain just keeps flowing. 2 weeks guys, that's all it took, 2 weeks for her to meet someone new and start sleeping with him this is really hurting me, I feel soooo worthless, I gave her so much love, so much of me yet she does that. I'm very heavy hearted, here come the tears. This is no way to live. Link to comment
.thumb.jpeg.44db4c04df92b9d233296a0149430b4d.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.