Before he left me he said lets have a baby. What does that mean

[Leona700]

My bf came to the US for 3 months to visit me. Once he got here we had a hard time getting along and he left once to NYC saying hes going back to Europe. Then he turned around and came back to my hometown. Yesterday he left again this time to Chicago where he has family. HE threatened to leave everytime we had an argument. I got a therapist for us, he got a job and we finally got settled. But i felt that even after all of that he didnt care. My sister said he needs to go find himself because hes out of control and you need to let him go. He said the same.SO I did. Im heartbroken. I love him so much and I think he loves me too. It was hard for us because i also have roomates so when we argued they were bothered. At times my friends got invovled but thats because my bf was completely out of line. Ex: called me names in front of them. Our counsler said he dosnt respect me. Thats so hard to admit to myself. I dont even know if its over. Before he left hes like i want to leave you pregnant so we dont lose each other. I said no. If a man leaves you but says lets have a baby, what does that mean?

[livelarge]

It means he feels out of control and that he can't keep you by being a decent person, so he needs something concrete to keep you around. He thinks getting you pregnant would make you unable to leave him. He's grasping at straws on his way out the door. And YOU should slam that door shut behind him.

 

That kind of statement just pisses me off. It's sounds romantic but really it's just a controlling statement. Anybody who uses babies or the promise of babies as leverage is wrong in my book. If he can't keep you in his life by being a loving person, then nothing should keep you in his life.

[NANsense]

It means his behavior is intolerable & everyone around you could see it--but he wants you to be stuck with him and he's not working on his issues!

 

It means he has an abusive & disrespectful mouth & you were lucky to have roommates there--otherwise he could have become physically violent!

 

It means he was a crappy BF and he's NOT husband or father material!

 

It means if you had a child with him you'd be watching him loose his cool and name call your kid!

 

It means you are better off without him and deserve way better than he has to offer!

[Tanzi]

It says that he is messed up and doesn't have a clue what he is talking about. What man plans to make someone pregnant they aren't actually in a relationship with. He would get you pregnant then leave you alone with the baby. How does that help you exactly? And what of the baby, why would he not want to plan on having a baby with someone he is planning on spending the rest of his life with? I know life doesn't always turn out the way we plan it but that is usually the intention when bringing children into this world.

 

Your relationship doesn't sound healthy and I really think it is in your best interest to move on. For goodness sake don't listen to his ridiculous notion of getting you pregnant because, if he goes home there is every chance he may disappear completely and you would be on your own with a baby.

[Leona700]

thank you for your advise that really is isperational.