To call or not to Call? that is the question (UPDATE)

[kantore]

Hey all check out my last post to understand my situation. link removed

 

Well she called me yesterday but I sent it to voice mail. I just listened to the VM and she said "Hey it is L, I have not heard from you in a while and wanted to see what you were upto. Call me back when you get a chance".

 

I do not think I am gonna call back, bc I am tired of playing this game, but does this make me a mean person? Also I wonder if she will ever call me back again if I fail tio call her. Looking for anyones opinion or POV on this subject.

Again Thank you for reading, and feel free to PM me

Kantore

[lady00]

deleted.

[hockeyboy]

first of all...women are evil, as Im sure your aware. haha. I guess my advice depends on whether or not you still want to be with her? How hard was it for you to start the no contact? I think thats something i gotta start in my situation.

[kantore]

thanks for your replies, I just want to say that it is easy to takl to her,b ut it is all work, and very hard on me emtionally. For the first time I do not want her back, because I do nt think she can give me what I feel I need out of a relationship. But I think I will always love her. She is like a drug, they feel good but are bad for you. Know what I mean.

kantore

[deebee]

I don't think it is mean. You need to recover first. This has been a big emotional upset for you and she was a big factor in causing it (without reading you previous post - the URL didn't work BTW).

 

My guess is that hearing from her will bring up conflicts/negative emotions and this will hamper your recovery. [Edit: Just read your reply and think you recognise this, hence the post]. The trouble is, part of you wants to hear her too! It is tricky, I know. Many times I've almost called or written to my ex. If I am honest with myself, it is when I secretly want her back. When I get over that feeling, I know it would have been a bad idea in the long run.

 

You can always make brief contact by e-mail, it's less personal. Maybe even say that you don't want to be 'friends' right now, although there might be a time when you can be. Keep up the No Contact and all that other healing stuff!

[sisterlynch]

Good luck Kantore!!

 

You are finally ready to move on, that is good. You deserve it.

[lunatic]

Hey Kantore I was in that same position about a year ago. We were high school sweethearts. She killed me inside when she left me for another man back then. I know the feeling that she is like a drug because that was the way it was for me. After ten years pass we hook up again by my doing. She pulled the same thing on me again all these years later. Dont call her and dont let her pull you back into something that is not healthy for you. Get away from her and find a woman that will be true to you.

 

Hey guy I sympathize with your situation but, now is the time for No Contact. Sorry if she thinks it is mean and who cares because she is your EX for a reason. You owe her nothing so why get upset over her anymore. Out of sight...Out of mind

 

Words to live by right now.

 

You need to start thinking about you and no one else. For now you need to mend the open wounds and start your life over. After a while you will be ready to date again. All of us tend to forget how nice it is to meet someone for the first time and get that butterfly feeling or how much fun the honeymoon phase is!!!!

 

Heal up my friend there is a big world out there waiting to be rediscovered.

 

Good Luck!

[mahlina]

Hey you,

 

I was in your situation quite recently. It hurts when the ex's call back. It's as if you don't want to be mean, but you also need them to stay away. You know what? I think that the best thing for you to do is to tell her straight out that you don't think that 'being friends' and 'keeping in touch' is the best thing to do right now. Tell her nicely, that you need time to yourself. Do whatever you can to separate yourself from her.

 

If she cares enough for you as a person, then she will realize where you're coming from. I'm sure that her intentions aren't to hurt you, but it's kinda time that she realizes how you feel as well. Let her know okay? *sigh* Good luck to all of us, and those who are healing from a breakup with our ex's. You'll pull through Kantore. I hope we all will. Take care.

[TrueHeart]

Well in response to Hockeyboy-- yes women are evil, but not all of them-- Try not to be so one-sided sometimes... There's a lid for every pot.

 

Evan, just letting you know, I think that you are doing a hell of a job really maintaining your firmness on NOT calling her back. I know that it is hard and I'm sure that there were times you wanted to really call-- but just remember what you told me once before-- she's a cold-hearted person who doesn't think of anyone but herself... and she's one-sided... I'm sure her calling was in good-intent, but the damage is done. I would not return the phone call. You called to wish her well for her birthday, not get reaquainted, right? Leave it at that...