Aqward situation

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hiya

 

i placed this here as i did not know where else to place it.

 

But this is my problem and has happenbd several times:

 

I sometimes go to lunch with a work colleuge that is aorund a year older than me (im 17).

 

When we are out at lunch sometimes he sees someone he knows and goes over to chat with them, so i have to go too.

 

This is not that bad but is when that person hagns around with you for the whole lunch (also today the person was someone who bullied me at school)

 

yea, thats right, several times this has happened and i have nothing to say, while there chatting away i just plod along behind them not saying anything and feel like im being used.

 

even though my colleague is a all right and i dont mind going to lunch with him but this is really annoying and he asks whats wrong everytime we go back to work coz im pissed off.

 

what do i do?

[Swiss_Chic]

Well, I can see several solutions, but it all kinda depends on the situation.

 

1) Do you get introduced or do they know you are around them? If so, then don't plod behind. Walk beside them and chat WITH them instead of walking around behind.

 

2) I had a problem like this in school. For awhile, I had a small group of friends, and I was one of what I call the "followers". I followed everyone else around while they would talk about other stuff and pretend I wasn't there. Well, next year, I said "f*** this!" and decided I didn't want to be someone people were only scarsly aware existed. So I found some new friends that I could talk to and gradually became one of the leaders. In fact, our group gained some followers, but we tryed to invite them in to say what they wanted. To you- you don't have to abandon your 17 year old friend, just get some other people to hang with.

3) goes with number two. When he starts talking with someone else you can act the confident, active, and considerate friend and say "You know what, you two look busy and I got some other stuff to do." You look like it doesn't matter what you do and you don't need the 17 year old friend for support. Plus, it makes you look confident, which helps if a bully is present.

 

I really don't know if it would be a good idea to confront the guy up front, like what is good in a relationship. If he asks you what is wrong and you say something equivalent to "It bothers me that you talk to other guys with out letting me in" then either he will get angry with you for being overprotective or clingy or try to slowly introduce you into the conversations by explaining your situation, which could be embarrassing.

But I could be wrong because I don't know how he reacts to things.

 

Hope it helps! Good Luck

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i cant join in the conversation as i am to shy..

 

also i dont have anything in common, they are all talking about how pissed they got the night b4 and stuff when i dont do any of that.

 

Im not jealous that he talks to ppl, i am just angry coz i feel like im being used and look like a plonker.

 

Today, he started tlaking to someone and that person was someone who used to bully me in school!

[Swiss_Chic]

Ya ok, I admit talking about things you don't know or care about with an angry guy who used to bully you isn't a good idea. But then try the other one.

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same applies to them all,

 

damit im a social misfit

[Swiss_Chic]

Dang, boy! I am all out of ideas! But I am sure someone else on this site has more info! Try sending private to ppl who are on. You can't just ignore or not respond to that! That's just rude! Try it, it gets more respondses.

 

Good Luck, for what, the third time? But seriously, Good Luck

[Swiss_Chic]

Oh, and as to the social misfit comment, welcome to the club. And hey, there are friends out there! Where do you work?