Alright need help quick...

[Caldus]

I'm about to go on my first date ever tomorrow. I am trying not to be nervous because I know that is bad but I got a lot of little questions so bear with me.

 

1. Should I pay for everything? Some things? What?

2. Coffee before dinner or after dinner? Or just dinner?

3. Good topics to bring up for any first date or just good topics to talk about to any girl? No sex obviously.

4. How to dress?

5. How to remember to smile a lot?

6. How to give a good massage (we were joking about it earlier but I'm not sure if she is actually serious about me giving her one or not)?

7. When to make a move? Wait until the second date to try to kiss her or try it at the end of this date? Would she want me to make a move on this date or next date usually?

 

Thanks.

[hurtabandoned]

1)Pay

2)I would say before, but someone else may have different opinion.

3)Be yourself and the conversation should flow (definitely no sex talk)

4)Dress neatly, no wrinkles. Dress appropriately for where you are going.

5)Don't worry about trying to remember to smile -- you won't have to.

6)I don't know -- I haven't gotten a good massage in a long time.

7)I've been out of the dating pool for a while but I would say wait until next date. From a girls standpoint it's nice to be with a guy that isn't in such a hurry.

 

What's most important is that you relax, be yourself and have a good time.

[bzborow1]

1. You asked her out, you pay.

 

2. For a first date w/a woman I usually just prefer going to coffee w/no dinner just to talk. But in your case, if you've already told her dinner, I would say just dinner, but if you must I would take her after. I know it sounds cheesy but if the weather nice and you've got a park...why not do that after the dinner?

3. Your question should have been, "what not to talk about"...to me, that includes: religion, politics, weather, and sex.

 

4. Dress appropriate to the place you are going.

 

5. Trust me, this is the easy one.

 

6. Something you just got to learn. If you've established a rapport w/regards to the massage thing you could of course tease her about it..."you know i don't just give massages to ANYONE...why should i give one to you? (be funny)".

 

7. I've got a great idea for that. Towards the end of the date you can try something like..."you have really soft hair" and run your fingers through it...if she pulls back a bit, leave it at that...if she stays and smiles, kiss her.

 

That idea of mine aside, you've really just got to go with the flow. You'll be able to tell if she's digging you. Is the conversation flowing? Is she smiling? Contributing a lot to the conversations? At the end of the date is she just standing there as though she's waiting for something? Tilting her head?

 

My best advice for you would be to just go out and have fun. Try not to make it too serious, and see where things take you.

[ComputerGuy]

1) Pay for it, all of it.

 

2) Whatever you agree on, ask her.

 

3) As said, it will just come naturally talk about your days or whatever, good way to get started.

 

4) Just dress neatly

 

5) You will wihtout thinking about it

 

6) Read this thread [link removed

 

7) At the end of this date, I say kiss her hand, or a light kiss on her cheek, she should make the move from there if she wants more.

[jackflash]

1. Pay

2. Before. (Dont make her feel pressured with after dinner)

3. Movies, ASK HER ABOUT HER FAMILY, LIFE (DONT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF UNLESS SHE ASKS)

4. Depends where you going (Smart Casul will work)

5. Look at her and Listen. Show genuine interest in her conversation and the rest will follow.

6. Leave the massgae on the first date.

7. Dont pressure her once again. Hold her hand during the date. Open her door, take out her chair. When you drop her off, ask her if you not sure. Also compliment her on the date, and thank her.

8. Call the next day to thank her as well, and if it went really well, send her flowers to thank her. (I TAKE IT YOU BOTH FANCY EACH OTHER)

[Caldus]

So you guys really think I should try to make a move on the first date? Is that how it is now days? I mean we're going to be in a public place so I'm not sure if she would like it or not. But I guess it would be a good idea to try to feel her hair or something and see how she reacts to it.

 

Thanks everyone. Any further suggestions appreciated.

[Scout]

Hi Caldus - so excited for you!!! Here's my suggestions, in caps:

 

1. Should I pay for everything? Some things? What? EVERYTHING, IT'S THE FIRST DATE.

2. Coffee before dinner or after dinner? Or just dinner? AFTER OR WITH DINNER.

3. Good topics to bring up for any first date or just good topics to talk about to any girl? No sex obviously. ASK HER QUESTIONS ABOUT HERSELF, MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT, ACT CONFIDENT AND WARM AND KIND (SHE'S PROBABLY NERVOUS TOO).

4. How to dress? DEPENDS WHERE YOU ARE GOING FOR DINNER. MAKE SURE YOUR CLOTHES ARE IRONED AND NOT WRINKLY. ALSO, WEAR A LITTLE NICE COLOGNE IF YOU HAVE ANY, BUT NOT TOO MUCH.

5. How to remember to smile a lot?

6. How to give a good massage (we were joking about it earlier but I'm not sure if she is actually serious about me giving her one or not)? FIRST DATE, DON'T DO THIS, NOT APPROPRIATE AND DON'T EVEN BRING IT UP.

7. When to make a move? Wait until the second date to try to kiss her or try it at the end of this date? Would she want me to make a move on this date or next date usually? IF AT THE END OF THE DATE YOU ARE STILL ATTRACTED TO HER AND THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE TO GIVE HER A KISS, TELL HER WHAT A GREAT TIME YOU HAD, GIVE HER A HUG AND KISS HER CHEEK. IF SHE TURNS HER FACE TOWARDS YOU, GIVE HER A LITTLE KISS ON THE LIPS. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE MOVIE. JUST DON'T RUSH DINNER, THIS IS YOUR TIME TO DRAW HER OUT AND MAKE HER FEEL GOOD BY HAVING WARM, EASY CONVERSATION.

 

Thanks.

[bzborow1]

Honestly if you are going to make ANY move it'll be at end very end of date. And like I mentioned before you'll probably know she wants to be kissed because she'll stop at the door and turn around. If they're not interested they'll probably be in a rush to get inside.

[ComputerGuy]

As I said, a safe bet is a kiss on the hand or cheek, she'll let you know if she wants more.

[Caldus]

Whoever suggested to feel her hair and see how she reacts, well that worked really well. She smiled when I did so I made my move and kissed her. Then we kissed again a couple of times and then we moved to a more private place for about two hours. We ended up going way too far and we made out the whole time. I won't go into details about what we ended up doing but I'll just say that it wasn't appropriate for a first date. At least I got to experience it but I feel bad about it at the same time.

[ComputerGuy]

Don't feel bad about it, as long as no one is using anyone, you have no reason to feel bad.

[Caldus]

Yeah you're right no one was being used. She enjoyed it a lot. I'll just say that I learned a lot.

[Scout]

Sounds like we gave you too good of advice! ok, eNotaloners, let's chalk up another job well done!

 

So Caldus, do you think you want to go out with her again?

[Caldus]

I don't know...I'm a little freaked-out from the whole experience. Not sure if I should be dating right now. I think it was just my hormones talking when I said I needed a date but not sure. Maybe I need to wait a few days to recover, LOL. I don't regret the experience itself though.

[Scout]

Did you like her company - I mean, how did dinner and conversation and all that go? She's probably freaking out right now, too you know...maybe after a day or two you could give her a call so she doesn't feel, well, like a tramp. It takes two to tango, so don't judge her as "easy" too fast - not that you have, just saying please don't in case you are wondering. Sounds like you both just got a little carried away.