need advice on getting my g/f to open up to me more...

[Borashi]

I'm currently in a relationship with a girl I care a lot about. Shes had a pretty messed up past and at times shes really distant around me. She's talked about a lot of her past but there are 3 years in her life that she just can't seem to talk about because its too painful for her. The last 2 times she has tried talking to me about it she became really quiet, non responsive, really just shut down, and cried. I want to be there for her in that way, but I feel if I know what happened I can at least understand more about her and maybe help her with the pain even though I know I'll never be able to experience what she went through as a child. Anybody have any advice or suggestions on getting her to open up?

[little242]

Keep letting her know that you are there for her. Sometimes it's hard for those who have had a painfull past to be open for the reason that they may have been taught to be quiet and keep to themselves and that if they share their feelings then somehow they will be punished for it.

Sometimes it's hard for them to trust others perhaps those that were close to her or she believed to be close to her ultimately hurt her.

So be patient and supportive she'll eventually open up at some point she just has to feel safe enough and it sounds like she is trying so don't dispair.